Sometimes my heart swells with pride over the beautiful, sentimental things in my life that fill me with joy unspeakable.
Sometimes, the tears fall when I contemplate the losses. There's a few (sob) and they've stolen my breath away when they happened. The loss of my soulmate in 2016 and in 2017, the family home sold off and torn down. THAT one was a bitter pill to swallow. I think I died inside when it happened. 35 years of memories...too many to mention here. What a blow to the heart.
This post is not meant to be a downer. Please don't think for a second that I am depressed. It could be farther from the truth.
I'm playing the soundtrack to St. Elmo's Fire right now. Far out, man. Totally RAD!!! 1985 called and wants its denim back and big hair. I can't help it, I love me some David Foster gems.
Okay okay, all joking aside...tonight I'm reflective. The wind is howling outside my window, and the weatherman says possibility of snow flurries. Winter in Southern Ontario can bring a chill to the bones that never seems to go away til April's daffodils start pushing through the soil.
My headphones are on FULL BLAST at the laptop. Yes, I'm multi-tasking. Eating After Eight Chocolates that were gifted to me at Christmas. Playing my You Tube playlist (made especially for noveling. Writing this article. AND...drum roll please...editing and REWRITING the classic 2012 PASSION novel that I am SO DAMN PROUD of!!! It's getting a revamp for Valentine's Day.
Back to love and loss...
Well, I'm taking stock of those painful losses that broke me wide open to allow much more love to come sweeping into my heart. It's fascinating, isn't it? The way loss can do that to you, and make you appreciate what you have right in your hands.
Some people just build a barrier and block the brand new love or goodness from coming in...out of fear that they might get hurt again. But I've made a pact not to let that happen. Besides, what would it serve me? Nothing at all. No good can come from a Heart of Stone.
What have I learned from love and loss?
I've learned that love is only as good as the love that you give away. It's the sweetest prize in life, and no amount of money can surpass the value or feeling of being TRULY LOVED.
I've learned that loss can be a stepping stone to a higher altitude...that if you take the ashes from your loss, you can make something new, something beautiful and fulfilling, and it can give you wings to soar to your new destination.
Perhaps tonight, you will give yourself the gift of silence and reflection, and ponder how love and loss have affected you as well. There's a lot to be learned from these experiences. They both hurt us, mend us, transform us...in our quest to become a better soul.