HOLD OUT FOR A CONSCIOUS MAN

Dear Readers,

Especially the ladies in the room here.

Yes, YOU...divine feminine creatures.

How is your love life treating you? I can hear Valentine's Day chanting down your door. Maybe you don't want to hear this from me. Sorry. But I have to say it. This little topic is eating away at me today.

***GROANS all around the room now***

Before you say "Rochelle, just gag me."

I know that some of you have been badly burned by love. Perhaps you lost hope in it. Maybe you've turned away from the opposite sex and you ran for the hills. Whatever your protest entails now. PLEASE, HEAR ME OUT.

If you've been following this blog for the last 6 years since its inception, then you must know of all the changes I have gone through in the love department.
I've had my heart broken, stomped on, my beauty and talents overlooked, and my entire conquest and identity discarded by "guys" or boys who thought they knew better.

But this post is NOT about male bashing. Rather, it's a celebration of the male species. I know, I know, you would rather hear me say all this feminism bullshit about women's lib and "girl power" and "sisters are doing it for themselves" yada yada yada.

I hate to break it to you. I'm a hetero in a mixed up world of chaos and beliefs pulling us all right, left and center. Media trying to preach to us to stay single, pull up our big girl pants and "do it all alone." I am fiercely independent on one hand and yet...there is a vulnerable little girl in me that CRAVES the security, warmth and heroism of a MASCULINE MAN. I don't need a man to complete me. I just want and crave the PRESENCE (fully present) of a masculine, EVOLVED, CONSCIOUS man. A Renaissance Man, a game-changer, a leader for the masses, and one who has the conviction and ACCOUNTABILITY to show up in the space...fully AUTHENTIC. Unafraid to show me his heart and his realness. I believe I DESERVE what I DESIRE.

At the end of the day, I LOVE MEN!!!

Maybe us females don't understand them. Perhaps they speak a different language altogether. Oscar Wilde said "Women were meant to be loved, not understood." Wise words from the famous writer, and I'd have to agree with him. The same goes for men. We might not understand them, but let us hold space for them and be patient and accommodating, if men and women have a fighting chance to co-exist in harmony.
After all, it is that EXQUISITE polarity of the sexes that brings us together to mate, in the first place. Is it not true, that your Divine Feminine loves the opposite yet wonderful energy of the Divine Masculine?

If you are single, lonely, hurting, bitter, confused, etc this Valentine's season...hold onto hope and do not give up in your quest for love. GOOD MEN are out there. Trust me. I had one. He passed away, but he was the love of my life, and I took a chance. I don't regret one single moment I spent with my Loving Trent when he was alive on this earth. I feel blessed beyond measure that he chose ME...little ole me...from a small town....a humble writer. When there were scores of glamorous babes in sunny California he could have chosen!!

The sweetest thing he ever said to me ( and this has stuck with me since November 2015) "Rochelle, you're the most loving, open and sensual woman I've ever met in my life."
That profound statement really hit me in the heart. It meant I'd grown and evolved. I'd finally understood what it meant to give love freely and RECEIVE IT, the way a conscious woman should.

To be CONSCIOUS is more than just about breathing. It is about growing together, exploring what is, and overcoming challenges in a healthy way. It is about holding space for your partner and loving them even when they are not that lovable. It's about being accountable and growing up and not dumping your issues on your mate. It's about finding someone who can love you no matter what the season. It's about being patient when they irk you or push your buttons. It's also about showing unconditional love without tying them down to some impossible image you have in your head. Healthy boundaries yes, and please don't make your partner a slave.

Hold out for a CONSCIOUS MAN. Do not settle for just anything that comes your way. Even scant attention or breadcrumbs thrown at you. Those random late-night texts because someone is bored or lonely. Block their number! You're a QUEEN and you deserve the entire KINGDOM. Put your own self on a pedestal. You're number one! Do the internal work necessary to attract this ideal mate. Work on becoming the best possible version of you. Whatever it takes, do it.

I pray that 2019 will be your year for attracting the conscious relationship you deserve!

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

SNOWMAGEDDON!!

Dear Readers,

Here on the east coast, many of us have been hit by a heavy winter storm. In southern Ontario (just east of Toronto) I am bundled up nice and warm with a fuzzy robe, blanket around my legs, a hot mint tea and some REALLY good '70's soul music.

We've been hit with what is dubbed in the media as "Snowmageddon 2019."

Frigid temps (minus 26c here) and blowing snow all day and night. It's been a hassle for motorists and pedestrians alike. Some areas along the lake have seen 41 cm of snow!

On the plus side, these storms always have me stuck inside and -- SURPRISE -- I'm stoked to be working on some new material under the circumstances. Strangely, I find the winter months the most productive for me. All my novels have been written during winter.

Along with some hot Moroccan mint tea, Lindor chocolates, and coffee, I am noveling along to my favorite music. Tonight, it's the incomparable trio "The Three Degrees." These ladies have killer harmonies and the sweet soul sounds of the mid-'70s. I'm a disco baby, born in this era, so they're right up my alley.

Right now, I'm working on the outline and first few chapters of my forthcoming novel called "HEART & SOUL." It's about my hero, senator-elect, who runs into his former best friend from college, the heroine,who now owns a successful catering business and is working a wedding at the Westin hotel in Portland, Maine. She's always been in love with him, and twenty years have passed since the hero ran off and married the wrong girl. Now he's divorced, back in town to campaign for the election, and sparks fly between the pair! But a scandal hits the headlines, threatening to ruin his political career and a chance to win her heart.

Stay tuned, as I update the progress on this one. I'm stoked for the beautiful scenery, spanning from the east coast of Portland and Boston, to sunny Napa Valley, California where some of the story takes place. I'm already REALLY in love with my characters, and the plot feels so much "like home" for me.

Check out the You Tube playlist below for some music I'm enjoying tonight.

Til next time...Grab somebody warm and get romantic.

RR xo

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR0FQ4uEqao

I LOVE THE WAY

I love the way
your agile,
slender fingers

Dance
across my skin
Making love
with the cells
of my soul

I love the way
your full, exquisite
lips
form a sentence
so eloquent
and how your
big, beautiful
Brain
Just holds so much
knowledge
and wisdom

I love the way
your face forms creases
around your mouth
some call it wrinkles
but i call them
laughter lines
to show me where
your soul is
to show me
how you light up

I love the way
you look at me
as if we are
meeting
FOR THE FIRST TIME
in a lover's greeting
and time and space
stands still

I love the way
your blue eyes
just catch me off guard
and I drop everything
I am doing
in the moment
and the world just ceases
to exist

I love the way
you same my name
"Rochelle"...
as if a lilting love song
from the gods
has just played
with a full, heavenly
orchestra
and no other sound
can be heard

I love the way
your hands reach around
the small of my back
and you hug me
SO TIGHT
and i know
I AM SAFE
because you feel
my honesty

I love the way
Your manly innocence
just shows up
so authentic
that I cannot see
anything else
in my path

I love the way
Your magnificence
just steals my breath away
and i'm in awe
in REVERENCE
of you
My Love
The one who calls to my soul

I love the way
your voice
like satin
drapes itself
around my body
cascades
all down my skin
and makes me come alive
once more

I love the way
we could be in a crowded room
and suddenly
all i see is you
just you

I love the way
you remember small details
of something i told you
long ago
and my heart just stops
for a moment
to say "thank you"
silently

I love the way
your firm, lithe body
fits with mine
in a warm embrace
that lets me know
no other woman
has your attention

I love the way
we greet and part
effortlessly
and the love
is still there
even if time may
separate us

I love the way
You hold space
for me
in your busyness
and chaos
but you seek me out
and never forget

I love the way
your lips claim mine
imprinting my soul
with the exact blueprint
we created long ago
before the sands of time

I love the way
you just understand me
without my need
to explain myself

I love the way
we wind up in bed
our limbs entangled
our hearts entwined
I am yours
and
you are mine

I love you

RR XO

REFLECTIONS ON LOVE AND LOSS

Dear Readers,

Sometimes my heart swells with pride over the beautiful, sentimental things in my life that fill me with joy unspeakable.

Sometimes, the tears fall when I contemplate the losses. There's a few (sob) and they've stolen my breath away when they happened. The loss of my soulmate in 2016 and in 2017, the family home sold off and torn down. THAT one was a bitter pill to swallow. I think I died inside when it happened. 35 years of memories...too many to mention here. What a blow to the heart.

This post is not meant to be a downer. Please don't think for a second that I am depressed. It could be farther from the truth.

I'm playing the soundtrack to St. Elmo's Fire right now. Far out, man. Totally RAD!!! 1985 called and wants its denim back and big hair. I can't help it, I love me some David Foster gems.

Okay okay, all joking aside...tonight I'm reflective. The wind is howling outside my window, and the weatherman says possibility of snow flurries. Winter in Southern Ontario can bring a chill to the bones that never seems to go away til April's daffodils start pushing through the soil.

My headphones are on FULL BLAST at the laptop. Yes, I'm multi-tasking. Eating After Eight Chocolates that were gifted to me at Christmas. Playing my You Tube playlist (made especially for noveling. Writing this article. AND...drum roll please...editing and REWRITING the classic 2012 PASSION novel that I am SO DAMN PROUD of!!! It's getting a revamp for Valentine's Day.

Back to love and loss...

Well, I'm taking stock of those painful losses that broke me wide open to allow much more love to come sweeping into my heart. It's fascinating, isn't it? The way loss can do that to you, and make you appreciate what you have right in your hands.

Some people just build a barrier and block the brand new love or goodness from coming in...out of fear that they might get hurt again. But I've made a pact not to let that happen. Besides, what would it serve me? Nothing at all. No good can come from a Heart of Stone.

What have I learned from love and loss?

I've learned that love is only as good as the love that you give away. It's the sweetest prize in life, and no amount of money can surpass the value or feeling of being TRULY LOVED.

I've learned that loss can be a stepping stone to a higher altitude...that if you take the ashes from your loss, you can make something new, something beautiful and fulfilling, and it can give you wings to soar to your new destination.

Perhaps tonight, you will give yourself the gift of silence and reflection, and ponder how love and loss have affected you as well. There's a lot to be learned from these experiences. They both hurt us, mend us, transform us...in our quest to become a better soul.

Stay Passionate,

RR xo

VULNERABILITY IS YOUR SUPERPOWER

I've come to a startling conclusion about humanity: we are AFRAID.

We let this fear run our lives, in turn, filtering into all aspects of our lives, including our workplace, friendships and romantic interactions.

What are we afraid of? Well, being NAKED, of course. Before you jump to the wrong conclusion, I'm not talking of the "clothing optional" factor. No, I'm touching on the fact that so many of us put up walls, don a mask and put on a show for the world. We are scared to death that someone might  find out who we REALLY are underneath those layers and layers of conditioning that our parents, boss, peers,co-workers, friends or colleagues placed on us. So we cover up with makeup, hairstyles, designer clothing, labels, or facade that hides our true spirit, so NO ONE gets to know the real US.

Do you know how painful it is to carry that burden around your whole life? It's EXCRUCIATING, to bear the weight of the FALSE SELF and the baggage that comes with it.

"If you really KNEW me and saw the REAL ME, you wouldn't really like me," we tell ourselves.

We fear being VULNERABLE and letting someone in, because once they come in, they also have the chance to hurt us or leave us. But that's the risk we must take to feel authentic connection. We must risk our hearts in order to find the best match for us.

What a shame that we hide the real person, when in reality someone out there is dying to find us. There is a man or woman searching for YOU right now...Yes, YOU!! They've written a WANT AD to the Universe, and everything on that list matches what you have to offer them.

But fearfully,  you sit there hiding behind the walls you've built around yourself like a stone fortress, not letting anybody in. What is your pay-off? What does it profit you? To hide the beautiful person you are, that someone is desperate to know and love.

I learned long ago that VULNERABILITY is my superpower. When I really assessed myself, tore down the walls, let others see THE REAL ME...that's when the magic began to happen. People CONNECTED with me, REALLY connected. They let their walls down, too. Suddenly, they were comfortable in their own skin and the fact that they could show up AS THEY ARE. No front or facade needed. No one is perfect. We all have flaws, cracks, blemishes we don't like about ourselves. Ah, but that's where our true beauty lies. In those cracks and flaws. The things we hate about ourselves, others find charming, cute or quirky. Guess what? They want MORE of it!!

So, please stop hiding yourself. Is your laugh funny? Loud and boisterous...or an awkward squeal? Let it out. Do you have freckles you hide under concealer? Show them once in a while. Those love handles you cover up and act ashamed over...who cares? We all have imperfections. This isn't the Victoria's Secret Runway Show...this is REAL LIFE. It's where real people and real problems happen everyday.

Next time you meet someone new...maybe someone you really like...try being real with them. Wait and see what happens. I'll bet 100% they will love you for it. Let's share ourselves with the world. After all, you are a gift. No other person will ever match you, never again in this life. The mold was broken when you arrived. That's the beauty of it.

Stay open, stay vulnerable. Let people see you for who you really are.

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

The Spark That Lights Up Someone Else's Life -- KEANE !!!

Today is Sunday. The day of rest...when all the "rest" of the stuff gets done around Casa Rochelle. Grocery run, laundry, house chores...you get the picture.

It's also the day of the week when I do DEEP reflection on past years and on the people who have made an imprint on my heart and have truly AWAKENED my spirit.

I want to thank "KEANE" aka Kelly Mitchell,  the man who walked into my life on March 2, 2009. It's almost a decade since we first met. This person deserves ACCOLADES and AWARDS to praise him for what he's done in my life. If you asked him, he'd probably say "oh, you did it all on your own, Rochelle. You had the power all along." Which isn't far from the complete truth. Yes, indeed, I have my own power and I'm fully capable of doing great things. Yet I feel in some major way, if he had not come along, where would my writing career be? I spent a long, grueling drought of 13 years without a single complete novel. THAT was exasperating!!!

But Kelly has always been my Northern Star. I love this man. Deeply. Before you go there and say "oh here comes another gushing, sappy romance," no...actually. It's more than a romantic feeling. I have felt SHAKEN and MOVED on a deeper level. The EVOLUTION of Rochelle has transpired due in part to Mister Mitchell appearing in my life, and also the SPARK that created my exciting novel "PASSION."

My heart abounds with ever-flowing GRATITUDE for him. Never a day has gone by where his words of encouragement have not impacted me. When a loss happened in my life, I'd phone him up and he'd listen to me whole-heartedly (even give up his lunch hour) and support me. I've always felt HEARD, SEEN, and VALIDATED by him. His presence has created a SAFE HAVEN for me to unload the contents of my heart, while being supported and understood. It's magic, how he does that. I never knew a man could hold space for me in that way (except for my Trent) but now I've been lucky enough to know TWO men who have accommodated me this way, and I'm truly thankful.

When I had victorious or good news to share, it was Kelly whom I wanted to share the news with. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it. He seemed to really CARE about the huge things in my life that probably seemed trivial to others... but he took the time to validate these things. He did it with passion and enthusiasm. I've always marveled how he had the capacity to make me feel special. I love his warmth and charisma. He stands out for me as a HERO. One I hold close to my heart. The one who came to save the day...just in the nick of time. Somehow, those dark days, painful losses, and devastating moments seem to pale over time...the ache has eased a lot...because he took the time to show me in his wonderful way "Rochelle, you matter."

On this sunny, mild January day...I'm here to salute you. Kelly, never stop being my support, because I will always need you.

Your friend faithfully

RR xo

PASSION: REVISITED

Dear Readers,

I'm stoked to announce some very PASSIONATE news!!

My love story from February 2012 is getting a revamp, and I'm launching it just in time for Valentine's Day!! The book is going to have a better storyline and will be reformatted in both Kindle e-book version and paperback.

There will be a giveaway on Amazon, a chance to WIN a FREE COPY of PASSION!!

This book is near and dear to my heart...and it broke the 13 year "drought" I'd suffered from 1998 to 2011 when no complete novels would manifest from my bank of writing. Lo and behold, I took a resume-writing workshop and voila...PASSION was born!!

***Come along for a thrilling ride of the senses...fall in love all over again, with this timeless story of the heart, as Keane and Rhiannon find their second chance at love, and lock in their own personal fairytale in the book of destiny***

Wherever YOU are this Valentine's Day, I wish you much joy, love, and PASSION!!!

Love Always,

RR xo

Here is the back-cover blurb:

"She once had dreams bigger than the Beatles. Dreams she’d leave this small town and be a world famous novelist. But heartbreak and missed opportunities seem to linger. Rhiannon Rose has failed at a lot of things, except motherhood to a loving daughter on the brink of teen status. She's always believed in miracles, but lately her optimism is wearing thin. Till the day handsome employment counselor Keane Mitchell walks into her life and gives her the one thing she is lacking…HOPE. His expertise, charisma and piercing blue eyes motivate her on the fast track to success. Within weeks, Rhiannon is hired as assistant editor at Random Hearts Press, a popular book publisher. Keane helps her create the million-dollar portfolio that lands her the job and a publishing contract. Soon, they are swept away on a sea of passion that threatens to bring scandal to Keane's personal life. Torn between right and wrong, neither wants to face the truth. With Christmas arriving, Rhiannon wants to give Keane the perfect thank you gift to honor the boundless support he has shown. Little does she realize, he's already given her the best gift that cannot be found in any shop...a token to share for all time...to bind them forever."