The Importance of Legs!! Total knee replacement

 Dear Readers,

With the New Year now upon us, and the recent surgery I have survived, I wanted to share with you the importance of legs. 

Now, you might laugh or scoff at me, say I am silly or redundant. But the truth of the matter is this: legs are life and life is legs.

People around me declared with a big smile and filled me with hope, stating "oh, you'll be fine! Total knee replacement surgery? Piece of cake."

One guy named Bob who is 80 said "They had me up and walking right after surgery and I walked right out of that place."

Another woman in the euchre circle who my boyfriend knows at the Wednesday night card games said "You have Doctor Chhirba? Oh, he's great. You just take the pain meds for three days and you'll be good as new."

What this woman failed to tell me was her dosage of pain meds and what medication was it? Because 5 mg oxycodone gave me a fever, sinus headache, nausea and did not fight the pain. My nerve block apparatus catheter running into my thigh to stop the pain post-surgery had mal-functioned, causing DEBILITATING pain in my knee and entire leg. I experienced pain on a scale of 10 out of 10 and likened it to the intense agony of being in labor with my first child.

December 28th was the surgery and by December 29th I was in full-blown agony that I called the ambulance to take me late Friday night. By 12:51 a.m. December 30th I arrived at the ER to find only one doctor on duty and over 70 patients in the packed waiting room. Running on 26 hours no sleep, I was finally seen by Doctor Adam and sent home with a needle of morphine in my left bicep and prescription for 1 mg morphine pills. There WAS, after all, a God! Ten hours from signing in to the time we called an uber, my ever-patient and kind boyfriend helped me into the car and down the steps (OUCH!).

I've been housebound since Saturday morning, and that is just fine.

Brother James has been a massive help, bringing me water bottles, herbal tea, snacks, and a big red pail to empty my bladder in. "You should've had it by your bedside since day one. Why are you killing yourself running to the bathroom in the middle of the night with that walker? You could fall and hit your head!" His concern was justified and warmed my heart.

Seriously, I've struggled so hard to walk in the last few days. Yes, I am doing the physio exercises just like the book tells me to do, and the first physio appointment is January 5th, but still, the pain and stiffness feels like my knee and entire leg is locking up on me. I feel so helpless! So useless! The simple tasks I did every morning, like wash some dishes, scrub my coffee and tea mugs, prep the hot water with the kettle, and make breakfast for my partner and I...well it's annoying and aggravating that I have to be knocked down a few pegs and basically be stuck in my room 90 per cent of the time.

Icing the knee every hour or so, yes, that too. It works wonders when I start to feel that familiar twinge of pain coming back. It's a nagging ache, especially when I've been on my feet a few minutes and worse at night when I lie down to sleep finally. 

What has saved me? Morphine pills. Oh God, what a lifesaver. Also, the constant support of my partner, who just today ran errands about five times. My phone charger failed, so he ran to get me a new one at the corner store. I had a craving for those soft and yummy Voortman blueberry cookies, well he went out just before his euchre night at the Legion and got me cookies. An hour before that, he went to the pharmacy to pickup my re-filled prescription that my surgeon's office had faxed in today. 

Last night, my guy was wonderful and brought us home takeout dinner of delicious roasted sirloin, complete with a homemade beef vegetable soup. The side dishes were mashed potato and gravy and peas. I'm immensely grateful that God sent me an ideal partner who not only loves me, but has the kindness and willingness to take care of me when I am down and out.

Legs! So important! I want to emphasize how crucial and vital they are. It's not as though I took them for granted, but this experience has been such an eye-opener to what patients must have suffered through during recovery. I mean, what a MAJOR surgery! Total knee replacement. OUCH!

Being housebound isn't really all that bad. I can watch old re-runs of my favorite Chicago PD shows, catch a cheesy Hallmark Christmas film, black and white Perry Mason episodes, or to update my blog. Yes, I am missing my independence of just putting on shoes and painting the town for karaoke. But those days will come again. For now, I need to hydrate, eat, practice self-care and show myself SO MUCH GRACE and compassion for the limited mobility I am currently addressing.

Remember, if you've got legs, never take them for granted and always take good care of them. Your legs are your ticket to a better life, to countless adventures, taking you so many places you have never been before.

I sure hope you enjoyed my spiel and wish all my good readers a Very Happy New Year as you embark on your own exciting times ahead.

Cheers,

RR xo

TRUST YOURSELF: When All Else Fails, You Can Trust The One Who Knows You Infinitely

 Dear Readers,

I noticed a flashback pop up on my FB tonight, and it was from Sept. 11, 2018. The comment I wrote beside my pic (featured above) was "Today I choose ME. I trust myself." This memory emerging on my page could not come at a better time, after the trainwreck that 2022 has been for me. Oh boy!

But first, back to 2018 for a minute. What a year that was! I landed a full time position at a seniors home, which later in November 2018 brought me the sweetest, most endearing couple, George and Mildred, who sparked inspiration for one of my books. I campaigned with a friend who won a seat on city council, and went to his victory party to celebrate. That was a proud moment, to witness a wonderful human being achieve a worthy dream. I went to a few concerts and enjoyed myself. I published The Christmas Keys. Beautiful memory. My "Hallmark" Christmas love story, I like to call it.

That quote about "choosing me and trusting myself" really hits home right now. I had an unsavory summer and got my heart broken badly. So tonight, I am paying homage to myself for draggin my body out of the pit and learning to make life "normal" again. Not sure if I can after what I've been through, but here goes...

"Today, I choose Me. I TRUST myself. I love myself. There's no one who has a more intimate relationship with me than ME. In this crazy world of commercialism and superficial scams, it's easy to get sucked into beLIEfs that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not hot enough, not sexy enough, not rich enough, etc etc. But here in this moment, I choose me. Because the last person did NOT choose me. They chose instead a career or someone else they deemed more special than me. That's fine. I'm good.  I don't need their validation to make me feel worthy. The only one I need to validate me with is ME. At the end of the day, I know in my heart I did my BEST. I am loved. I am worthy. I AM ENOUGH. In this skin, yes I am enough."

How many times have you let fear and self-doubt creep into your thoughts? When you let that ugly, traitorous voice in your head lie to you about how amazing and capable you really are? Well, stop it. You are a force to be reckoned with. Yes, YOU are unstoppable. Remember all the times you struggled and thought you'd never make it through, yet here you are! Succeeding in spite of it all. 

It's time to give yourself more credit, to trust your instincts, to behold the genius that you are. Which includes embracing your messy parts, and the shadow self you judge, the aspect of you that holds perhaps all your magic and hidden talents. Being human is never a bad thing; it's the components of all that you are and all that you will ever be.

So stop second-guessing yourself and thinking that you are not enough. You are divine. You are a STAR shining your light in this messed up world. That is amazing. That is all you need to be. You have arrived. The world needs you. 

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

LOVING YOURSELF MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD: Focus On Love

 Dear Readers,

It has been said by the great writer of our time, Louise Hay, who is now dearly departed but lives on in our hearts and her ample library of self help writings and new age awareness:

"When you don't know what else to do, focus on love. Loving yourself makes you feel good, and good health is really about feeling good." 

This past year, I've hit a personal crisis. Mental health and emotional health. I lost a job that meant a lot to me. A job working with seniors at a retirement home. I was targeted, bullied and harrassed by management over my bad knee. From February 2021 during my first diagnosis over x-ray of osteoarthritis in the knee, to limping on the job in March and April, to getting a cortisone shot that helped me for three months and then the subsequent pain and limping that followed in September (once that shot had worn off in July), I was targeted by management for my "disability." 

November brought a knee sprain diagnosis, running around a dining hall serving meals to seniors. Two weeks off work, a WSIB claim, and management spreading lies and rumors about me through the building ("it's not a tear, you can't use that language in your insurance paperwork," the nasty, control freak business director screamed at me on the phone. "These agents don't want to pay out the money. I've dealt with these people for a long time, I know my stuff." She went on to brag that her "daughter is a soccer star in Spain, and she tore a ligament and needed surgery." Comparing MY injury to her daughter's? Then invalidating me and shaming me without having the final word from my MRI? How atrocious and appalling, not to mention, completely out of line from a Human Resources point of view. In the end, my agent at WSIB was more than accommodating with all my paperwork, doctor visits and backbiting with staff. He happily refunded every penny to me that was lost on two weeks worth of wages, while being sidelined at home.

I was wait-listed three and a half months for the MRI, from the November booking til the March appointment. To add insult to injury,  a maintenance guy at work got in my face and yelled at me over a broken vacuum (not my fault). He shouted: "you're just lazy and full of shit. All you want is to go off on another insurance claim." This could not be further from the truth. I'd just had an MRI at the hospital on March 1st, and the results came in March 30th, via my booked follow-up appointment with my surgeon. It was a meniscus tear under the knee cap. But the buffoons at the seniors home did not wait to hear back from my MRI results. The manager fired me March 15th and I was devastated.

My work at the retirement home was one filled with love, and I poured that love into every day I spent there, four and a half years of it. The seniors were my "family," and our mutual affection and respect for one another was felt deeply. When job loss occurs, there is a strong mental, emotional and physical downfall that happens. First, the shock that it happened at all. Second, the depression over losing my community and sense of self. Third, social life is nonexistent, and you now have a life that you do not recognize that is waiting at home. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and I would spend the next number of months in deep sorrow, gloom and self punishment. When the first week of August hit, I dragged myself out of bed one sunny afternoon and dusted off the exercise bike that was sitting there being neglected. My first ride was 12 km and 30 minutes clocked. Then, I worked my way up to 16 km and then 18 km for 44 minutes in a session. Four times a week, I forced myself on that bike. "Rochelle, you've got to get yourself out of this slump, or you'll be good for no one. Not even for yourself," my inner critic chided.

Suddenly, I had perspective. I also had something that I'd lost with the job dismissal; MEANING.

As with anything that leaves our life, we have to find our way back to the meaningful part. I attached MEANING now to my daily routine. It was not just getting out of bed at noon (because, what else was there to look forward to?) but it was also the fact that I had an exercise routine. I had my coffee, my oatmeal, and my Tetley lemon tea and three liters of water per day. Get the muscles moving, release those positive endorphins, change my mindset, stop beating myself up, don't be so glum.

To add to the mix of sorrow, the man I love had distanced himself from me over a misunderstanding when a "frenemy" of mine phoned up the funeral home behind my back and badgered my Special Person with demands that he" take Rochelle out to dinner or give it up with

her."

I'd waited 11 months for this beautiful man to come back from the west coast where he lived, and have a wonderful reunion of souls this summer in Southern Ontario, just east of Toronto, while he split his time between the cottage up north and his sister's place, a 10-minute drive from me. Well, after that frenemy sabotaged my Specific Person and me, it was game over. He broke my heart by saying he "didn't want a relationship, I hope you find what you're looking for, I wish you well." I picked up the phone to explain everything and try to tell him my side, but he refused to answer. He ghosted me after that, and I spiralled down into a deep depression for months. This is a man in his '60s who was raised by a good father and mother, and knew better than to lead me on this way. He also has serious health issues that might require surgery down the road, and he'd endured a heart surgery in October 2020, so the drama from that traitorous ex-friend of mine just seemed to be the "nail in the coffin" for us. He won't speak to me.

My heart is shattered beyond repair at the ghastly and devious events that have transpired this year. It has been an awakening that has gutted me, in so many ways, and I have felt paralyzed with the depths of sorrow and heartache. My Specific Person means the world to me; he inspired three of my books, he has seen me through the hardest times of this past year (getting Covid, knee injury, bullied at work, losing the job). He was also my biggest cheerleader when the first book in the "Love Walked In" series was released in July 2021. To put it bluntly, he is my soulmate and I love him with the magnitude of an earthquake and the force of a tsunami. His arrival to my life on Nov 9th, 2018 forever transformed me, and I can't feel anything but massive love and compassion for this incredible man. To say my heart is brimming with devotion for him would be a huge understatement; my heart belongs to him. I don't want to do this life without him. I mean that. 

Back to the "feeling good" part. It was surely a process, and a long journey back to self, indeed. After getting my heart broken and losing the job, my new life is now about caring for my bad knee, updating this blog, seeking a job, and healing my brokenness. Yes, this is the "new normal."

I have every faith that my Special Person will return. He is taking a break, getting ready for a medical procedure out west when he returns home this month (hopefully to put him into remission with his illness) and he is still grieving his parents who both died in early 2020. Hence, the funeral this past July, a celebration of life for his beloved father, who was also one of my own soulmates. He has a weak heart from a heart valve replacement, and that is no walk in the park.

Tell me, in the comment section under this blog, have you ever endured a separation from your Beloved, and how long was that? What was the outcome when he/she returned? What discoveries did you make along the way about yourself? I would be intrigued to know what took place and if there was a happy reunion?

As you know, I am a big fan of the Law of Attraction and I apply it to my life every day. I've seen the massive returns from it, over the course of the last seven years or more.

This road back to Self really is about Loving Yourself. Focus on that love, and it will fill you up so deeply, and will overflow into other areas of your life. It really does all begin with Self. 

I am sending you healing vibes and massive love today.

I hope to hear from those who have reunion stories with their twin flame or Specific Person.

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

Law of Attraction: Manifesting Your Specific Person

 Dear Readers,

I've become quite smitten with the idea of Law of Attraction for MANIFESTING your Specific Person either into your current existence or manifesting them back into your life after a breakup or after they have ghosted you.

One of the people I follow is Robert Zink from USA (Miracle Mentor and Alchemy Success Coach). He is the owner of Law of Attraction Solutions, along with his wife, Rachael.

His teachings give me daily support, inspiration, and guidance for my life. Especially for attracting your Specific Person to you.

What I have learned on this journey with my Specific Person are key factors to manifesting him or her back into your life. Robert's advice hits all the crucial points:

1. See yourself as WORTHY. Committed. Absolutely certain. Make yourself the STAR of the movie.

2. Be passionate about your own journey. Focus on your goals. Your dreams. People are attracted to people who are PASSIONATE about something.

3. Quantum Gratitude. Looking forward to the future; projecting into the future about the reality you are creating and being GRATEFUL for your life right now. Writing it down, getting in touch with it. This will raise your vibration.

4. Visualize Clearly The Outcome you desire. The Wish fulfilled. This person or this company calling you, texting you, writing you, reaching out to you. You need to reprogram your subconscious mind with a clear picture of the outcome. It's absolutely essential.

5. Focus on the Feeling. While you are meditating before bedtime, focus not only on the picture, but how you FEEL about them reaching out to you. It's absolutely essential, because feelings are the connecting link to the Universe. You need that Universe REFLECTING BACK to you exactly what you are putting out. That's called manifestation. That's the Law of Attraction. And this is the Law of Assumption. You are acting and feeling "As if." What if I run into RESISTANCE? People ask one of two questions that causes them to run into problems. 1) When? 2) How?

Detach from the outcome. Fall asleep with the positive expectation, allowing you to DETACH. Detachment is so important. You increase the probability that your Special Person is about to reach out to you. As you increase your nightly meditation, you go inward, increasing the Energy.

6. Good Things Are Coming Your Way!! Keep using these daily affirmations. 

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. 

Every day, in every way, my Specific Person is getting closer and closer.

Every day, in every way, my Abundance is getting bigger and bigger.

Hope these help you on your journey to manifesting your Specific Person! Stay tuned...

With so much love,

RR xo

Chronic pain, setbacks and NaNoWriMo

Dear readers,

Today, I'm writing in chronic pain. But...I AM WRITING.

Today my Hashimoto's is making me feel terrible, weak, lethargic and sore. My head is pounding and my muscles and joints hurt me. But...I AM WRITING.

How do you overcome obstacles in your journey?? What steps of self care do you practice to ensure you stay on track? For me, it's a hot bubble bath (long soak) with incense, candles and soft music after a long day of work. Sometimes it's a favorite cold or hot beverage. At any rate, one must ESCAPE the madness in order to recharge. When I take care of ME, I am then able to give back. Let's face it, we cannot serve from an empty vessel; we must first fill ourselves up.

This post is not to gain sympathy...but rather...to share my struggles and hopefully resonate with you, as well. I know (most of us) will suffer with carpal tunnel at some point in our writing career, and let me tell you, it's no walk in the park.  Carpal tunnel is now in both of my wrists/arms, forcing me to medicate and to use ice packs.

But...I AM WRITING.

NaNoWriMo is my "WHY"...the reason i'm still plugging away. The battery on my laptop is at 1% and needs to be replaced ASAP. But still, I keep pushing forward, because NOVEL HAPPENS. Because my readers need me, and my book THE CHRISTMAS KEYS has to be written!

NaNoWriMo is my glowing pregnancy...my pride and joy...my Boston Marathon, so to speak. It's what I've done every November since 2012. That first year, I gave up on my script halfway because it grew stagnant and I was bored with my hero. But last year and this year, I am ON FIRE, and determined to finish with the 50,000 word criteria.

NaNoWriMo is my vision for the future. It helps me complete my project on time and with burning discipline. I also get a finished product and a plaque that commends me for my hard work.

So, carpal tunnel be damned! I AM WRITING. Hallmark needs my book and the world needs my message.

Til then,

Stay Passionate,

RR xo