Happy 59th Birthday in Heaven, My Loving Trent

 Dear Readers,

This is the 59th birthday of my loving Trent, my soulmate, confidante, best friend, and biggest cheerleader.

My heart has a gaping hole that's never healed, since he died June 11, 2016.

I miss him every day, every hour, every minute that he is not here.

Let's wish him the BEST and BRIGHTEST birthday of all time! He is watching over me from heaven, each and every day. How do I know this? He sends me "signs" all the time. 

He leaves me dimes everywhere I go, with the year "2016" on them, to commemorate his passing and so that I will know it's him for sure.

He sends vehicles with the license plate 419 for his police badge or 611 for his death anniversary.

Trent loves me, beyond the grave, beyond all eternity. He sends people to comfort me on my dark days, he sends songs out of nowhere..."I left my Heart in San Francisco"(Tony Bennett)..."Owner of a Lonely Heart"(YES)..."Money"(Pink Floyd)...just to name a few.

He sent a piano player to my work...she plays every lunch hour on the piano, two of my all time favorites..."I Believe" and "You'll Never Walk Alone." Her name is Patricia, a sunny, loving, delightful lady who had no clue these songs got me through painful times in my life. I sobbed when I first heard her gentle fingers dancing across the keys on the piano. I can't even make this stuff up.

Without further ado...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN, TRENT RIGEL GARDNER. MISS YOU. ALWAYS XXXX

Love always,

Your Queen,

RR xo

SURVIVOR'S GUILT AFTER A SUICIDE LOSS

Dear Readers,

This is a sensitive topic, since you know by now that I lost my soulmate, Trent Gardner on June 11, 2016 to suicide. He was a brilliant man, a musical mastermind, a producing powerhouse in the studio, with a range and perfect pitch that rivaled Peter Cetera of the legendary rock band CHICAGO.  He worked with legends like Steve Walsh of KANSAS and Jon Anderson of YES.
Trent was, what I believed him to be, high functioning bi-polar with paranoia, but UNDIAGNOSED.

He never spoke of being depressed. He never shared that he was lost and hurting. He suffered in silence, to dodge the stigma of being a man born in 1961 and having mental health issues. The shame he carried was unbelievable and I knew deep down, something was very wrong. Yet I couldn't help him. No one could. He isolated himself and pushed everyone away from him, rather than reaching out and letting me know how deep he'd gone to the point of no return.

Trent was a retired police officer from the Vallejo, California police force. He was a huge teddy bear, and a big warm bundle of empathy. His brilliance, intelligence, kindness and tenderness with me...Oh My...I can't fully articulate here what it all meant to me. Simply put, he was LOVED BEYOND MEASURE.

Still, 3 years later, I'm still in shock over his death. This man loved me SO MUCH! He made me feel loved, validated me, supported, and he was my biggest cheerleader and confidante. I could be totally unabashedly myself and he accepted me that way, warts, freckles, scars, flaws, quirks and all. Life with Trent was an adventure of the heart....amazing!!!

But for a long time, I carried a copious amount of SURVIVOR'S GUILT over the death. Like, come on, I was going to marry him and give him a child....so how could I possibly miss THE SIGNS that he was going to open his mouth and place a gun in there? How blind could I be, right?

Being a survivor of suicide loss is a heavy cross to bear. Unless you've gone through it yourself, you really don't have a clue how heartwrenching the pain is. All the things we run through our minds...after the fact. After they've pulled the trigger, swallowed the entire bottle of pills, or hung themselves from the ceiling. Why didn't I do something? Why didn't I see it? How could I not PLAY GOD and stop him/her from executing that horrific and fatal act? After all, I AM Joe Hero.....or Wonder Woman.....I have superpowers...I can take on the world and be INVINCIBLE. This should be a piece of cake. Stop someone from hearing the voices, alleviate their suffering, somehow magically banish all the pain they've endured since they were born. NOOO!!!!!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD....STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!!!

NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT. I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT. HONESTLY. SINCERELY. PLEASE, JUST STOP THE BLAME GAME. THERE IS NOTHING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.

Our loved one who suicided....had it planned out for a long time. They battled their demons and fought the good fight...til the bitter end. You couldn't have held their hand, eased their troubles, and monitored them 24 hours a day....just to prevent this. How exhausting that would be!!! You would have to give up so much of YOUR OWN sanity, just to keep them alive. And even then, we have no guarantee of that.

Guilt is like a poison. It's like drinking an entire bottle of Clorox and expecting to be "okay" after that. NOOO! What happens? You die from the repercussions.

Your loved one KNOWS you did your best. They're crossed over safely to THE OTHER SIDE, living in the Divine White Light, and basking in the glory of being healed. In their haven of Paradise, they're smiling down at us...wishing we could only see how perfect they are now, in God's Hands.

Please, if there is any takeaway from this blog post...let it be simply knowing...you did your best.

I mean that. Sincerely. Deeply.

Sending massive love to you,

RR xo

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO MY LOVING TRENT IN HEAVEN!! MISS YOU MORE THAN WORDS

Just a little note to My Trent in Heaven.

Today was hard. He isn't here beside me and I didn't get to go to dinner with him and share tender moments.

But my heart remembers him every. single. day. every. single. moment.

Miss you Trent. Love you eternally!!

With all my love and my heart...

till we meet again!!

Your Queen,

RR xo

THREE YEARS SINCE YOUR PASSING...LOVE IS ALIVE AND WELL

Dear Readers,

My soulmate Trent Rigel Gardner passed away. June 11, 2016. This entry is a tribute to all he meant to me and continues to inspire in me.

***Warrior with a heart of gold***

You never let me go without,
kept me alive
with all the love you had inside

More than a man in a suit
or a musician...
you changed how I viewed the world
transformed my vision
to clearly see
How an EVOLVED MAN was meant to be

Melted my heart
broke down the barriers
and pain from my past
allowed me to grow into
the EVOLVED WOMAN
God created me to be

Without your hand
guiding me
I would not be a fragment
Of who I am continually
Steadfast, resilient, romantic
STRONG, independent,
SURVIVOR.

Your death nearly killed me.
In truth, I asked God to take me
But i have so much MORE to live for
a daughter, a career, a MISSION

My heart is forever YOURS
My Loving Trent,
Nothing can separate us
we were meant

Grateful, eternally
for the daily walk
you share with me
You've never left my side
I feel you near, so strong
Somehow our hearts BELONG
together

Three years since your
passing

Really don't understand
how i'm still breathing
But the miracle is...
I AM.
Love is alive and well
it will be waiting for you
When it's my time...
to pass through the veil

I LOVE YOU MY KING.

RR XXXX

HAPPY EASTER TO MY LOVING TRENT IN HEAVEN

Now more than ever...as I approach the 3 year mark of my soulmate Trent's death...I feel the inevitable ache of loss so deep. More than I have since his death.

Maybe it's because the holidays bring all those old feelings to the surface. Perhaps it's because another year has come around and the reality hits hard: he is never coming back. Also, I believe it's been my writing projects and little distractions (people, places and new experiences) that allowed me to stuff my feelings down...into a place so deep....that I convinced myself the pain was gone.

But that's just wishful thinking. Because I can never stop feeling the raw ache that Trent Gardner left me when he took his life June 11, 2016.

My heart will be forever broken, and that's something I've accepted. Even though I'd rather pretend he faked his death or that this was all just a dream.

Trent Rigel Gardner changed me for the better. He brought a RICHNESS, a luxury, a simplicity to my life. That may seem an oxymoron, but it's true. I felt like a millionaire when I found him and I also felt like the most real, organic and unassuming goddess ever born.

He just knew how to love me, in ways no one else could ever. The man knew how to love me "by default"...as though he were programmed that way, just for me. Loving him was natural, like breathing...no thought put into it, no effort or striving.

His presence in my life was MONUMENTAL. I can only speak for my own experience, but it's true. Others will attest that they saw a different Trent, one of many faces that he put on for each person in his life. But I know him to be only my ONE TRUE LOVE. He was my twin soul, and there was a SYNERGY between us that just seemed to flow. Like the life force energy of the Universe. Natural, beautiful, infinite. A chemistry that I can never forget.

This Easter I want to celebrate my Trent. All over again. For being that Flame to light me when the world is cold.

His kindness and generosity warmed me no end. It transformed me, and I'm a better woman because of him.

I LOVE YOU TRENT. NOW AND ALWAYS. I'LL BE THERE TO WELCOME YOU WHEN IT'S MY TIME TO PASS. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, I REMAIN ALWAYS...

YOUR QUEEN,

RR XO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN HEAVEN, MY LOVING TRENT

Today marks the 57th birthday of my dearly departed soulmate, Trent Gardner...


I feel him near me...ever so close...closer than ever in recent years. He passed suddenly (suicide) on June 11, 2016.

My life has never been the same since that fateful day. I cannot express to you how utterly BROKEN my heart has been since Trent left this earth.

I really don't know how I've managed to go on without him. 2.5 years without his presence, without his laugh, or his wisdom...his music...his comfort.

Inspite of his physical departure, he is still very much here. Trent, I thank you for being near me. For the countless dimes you've dropped at my feet to remind me that you are closeby. For the people you have sent to feed me or help me. For the little miracles that came when I needed money or encouragement.

All of this...a gift of love from above. I will love you always. Till the seas run dry. Till the stars burn out.

Forever your Queen,

RR xo

GRATITUDE SUNDAY

Dear Readers,

It's Sunday here in Southern Ontario. The weather is still a bit chilly, Spring is peeking around the corner at me, and I've just completed and sent off THE CHRISTMAS KEYS.

I'm so stoked for Derek and Ronnie's love story!! This one began as a small seed of an idea for the annual "NaNoWriMo" contest that runs every November and beckons 600,000-plus writers across North America to do what they do best...WRITE A COMPLETE NOVEL!! In 30 days, I had just that. THE CHRISTMAS KEYS is my labor of love, my pregnancy come to fruition, and now that it's time to "birth" this baby, I couldn't be prouder!

As the saying goes:"behind every successful person, there is a team or tribe of people who have helped shape that success story."

Here goes my GRATITUDE LIST (in no order of favor or priority -- because I LOVE YOU ALL!!):

***Rachel***your arrival in my life was truly a miracle. I was blessed with the most beautiful, lovable, blue-eyed baby girl. Now you've grown into a woman and I'm proud beyond measure. Love you always XOXO

***Trent Gardner***the soulmate of a lifetime. A dream come true to cherish forever. You gave me California (after dreaming of it for 22 years) & true, authentic love. Your eternal love is my reason for going on with this career. I only wish you were still here to walk this journey with me, hand-in-hand. But I know you are beside me (in another form). Keep sending me signs. I see them all. Love you Rigel XXXX R.I.P.

***Don, Lydia and family***for welcoming me with open arms and supporting me through my loss. You are loved so much!!

***Hinna A***my kindred spirit since kindergarten. You're the Diana Barry to my Anne Shirley. I will never forget your kindness. xoxo

***Donald A.*** for inspiring two novels and for a lifetime of smiles***

***Kelly M. for being the best muse a girl could ask for***you broke my 13 year writer's block. For this, I am ETERNALLY grateful!!

***Derek G***You're a bonafide star, in every way. You inspire me daily to dream big and chase my full potential. Your heart is so full of compassion. I see a lot of myself mirrored back at me. Soon, I hope you'll know just how important your presence is on this world.

***Renee***you've had my back for 13 years. Let's keep it going, dear friend. I love you and your family. Thanks for pep talks and sharing Chinese food with me. I will always be your kindred spirit.

***Carol D***you helped me through the hell of my loss, you're a Goddess, a warrior, a genius and a kindred soul. I can't thank you enough!!

***Cat T***your authenticity, determination, humor, honesty and talent makes me want to take on the world! Love you girl!!

***Robyn***for sticking by me, giving me laughs, reminding me there is still life out there, and for adventures and lattes!!! Thanks a million.

***Natalie***what can I say? We're sisters from another mister. I think I've had the most gut-busting laughs with you. Keep shining. You're a BIG deal in my life.

***Rob & Lorraine***for the music, the memories, the laughs***for always welcoming me like family. You're that golden couple who always reminds me "this is what love looks like." Thanks for everything xoxo

***Tekoa***31 years across the miles!!! We made it!! I'll see you soon!! :)

***Franny Armstrong***for being a talented author who inspires me! For all that you are. You shine a bright light and bring HOPE to every life you touch! Love you girl!

***Jennifer E***your support means the world to me!! One day I'll meet you in person and thank you properly. Thanks for the daily affirmations!! Much love!

***Bradley M***for editing the PASSION manuscript and getting MY VERY FIRST editor to look at my book!! kudos to you! I wish you the best today and always on your writing career. I'm here if you ever need me.

***Marissa C***for letting me win the Town Crier Essay Contest!! My very first win...ever!! You renewed my faith in my writing! I wish you all the very best in your writing career! You're a rockstar and I admire you!!

***Rhea D***your daily insights, wisdom, affirmations and support! I could never go without them! I am so blessed by your friendship across the miles :) Thank you xo

***Lena R***for buying my book, posting an AWESOME review!! And just for being YOU!! I truly love how "REAL" you are. Keep being a strong Goddess!! xoxo

***Glenda***for being there in my time of loss and sharing our love & faith for Trent!! thank you.

***Margie***for being a friend to Trent when he really needed one!! You are a gem xo

***Laurie Larson***for your courageous heart & beautiful soul!! another Trent connection!! One day I'll make it to Arizona!!! xoxo

***Daryl M***for putting me on the radio...so MANY times!! your east coast humor and rockin' music makes me want to get out my "Rocking Chair"...LOL! Thanks for the music :)

***Josephine***for buying my book! For setting the GODDESS standard! For just being you! Thanks so much :)

***Yvonne V***your review of COMING HOME made my day!! Thanks for your support!! I'll cherish you forever!

***FOR ANYONE I'VE MISSED...I'LL BE UPDATING THE LIST SOON***

Enjoy your Sunday!

Stay Passionate,

RR xo

Twenty Months Later...YOU ARE LOVED BEYOND MEASURE

In my life, I've witnessed profound things. I've had joy unspeakable...moments of bliss that stole my breath away. Times when I was in awe of a mighty Creator who'd blessed me with countless miracles.

I've also had moments of sorrow and DEEP GRIEF that dropped me to my knees and sucked the life out of me like a sonic vacuum, rendering me powerless.

One such impact that left me crippled and broken was the loss of my beloved Trent. While this post is not one to garner pity by any means, I simply want to share my "DEFINING MOMENT" that knocked me down and broke my heart wide open. I also want to celebrate the 20 months that have dragged on since Trent died June 11, 2016.

You see, the loss of a loved one is never just about "crying it out of your system," "digging a grave," "having a funeral," or "Let's just move on." Rather, the griever will grieve til their last dying breath. Your loss will be with you forever, let's get that straight right here and now. YOU my dear friend, are allowed to grieve fully and eternally. It's your RITE OF PASSAGE. Just remember not to stay in that pit forever. Allow yourself to grieve, embrace your loss and the subsequent transformation that comes with it, and learn to grow, move forward. Moving forward doesn't mean to forget about him/her, but instead, you find new ways to carry your grief more gracefully. Tucked safely in the chambers of your heart, lingering there in a safety deposit box that only YOU can access from time to time.

Today, on my Trent's death anniversary of 20 months, I found myself contemplating things people said to me when he passed on. They were hurtful things, and many were because people close to Trent were numbed by their own pain, or bitterness toward him. One specific female relative vented over the phone, blaming Trent, saying he "wore masks and played roles for every person he encountered."

Wait...what? You mean to tell me that my love story with Trent was a sham, that he faked the entire blessed thing and it was a facade? Lady, you've got another think coming...

For her to have the audacity to try and rob me of my precious memories and of the EPIC AND PROFOUND LOVE Trent and I shared, well, it's just disgraceful. Whatever grudge she's got against him, let her wallow in that hatred, but please don't drag me down your dirt road. My road is paved SOLID GOLD, with endless love flowing like a fountain of pure fondness, romance, comfort and security.

My memories of this beautiful music man are forever wrapped up in satin...enrobed in joy...encased in friendship...enveloped in eternal devotion that will carry me through endless lifetimes. I refuse to think that some hard-hearted relative of Trent's wants to blur my memories of him and to drag his name through the mud, well that's just NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

Why, after nearly two years do these woman's words ring through my head still, you might ask? For starters, it was nasty and hurtful for her to slander my loved one like that, and secondly, I want this person to know that her attempt to mock our love story and failed attempt to rob me, apparently backfired!

Trent Rigel Gardner, no matter what your family said against you, not one single harsh word or attempt to ruin your legacy will ever sway my opinion of you. You are THE ONLY MAN who ever loved me on this planet, the only one who ever seemed to "get me," and your love left a LASTING IMPRESSION on my heart that is forever shielded by our pact of love together. To this life, and to many lifetimes ahead of us, I salute you, Trent.

Twenty months later...YOU ARE LOVED BEYOND MEASURE. You awakened the woman in me, you set ablaze the wildness that the world needed to witness, your influence on my lyrics and songwriting really brought a BRIGHT PALETTE OF COLOR to it all. But most of all,
your grande arrival into this humble author's world made the earth shake beneath my feet, while your departure broke me open, took my vulnerability and created a superpower for me. Your death brought a bittersweet beauty to my life that helped me love you even more...if that is even possible.

My Trent...thank you. Times twenty. XXXX

Forever your Queen,

RR xo

GRIEF: ONE TINY WORD WITH MONUMENTAL IMPACT

Dear Readers,

Lately I've been contemplating just how I'm able to get through most days of my life. Some are bright, sunny and filled with hope, while others are dark and barren, murmuring threats of failure and anguish. Sometimes the sadness consumes me out of nowhere, and I find myself struggling to catch my breath and finish the task at hand.

I have been crushed by the bitterness of death that shook me to my bones, made them ache internally and impacted every neuron and muscle in my body. The weight of that loss almost destroyed me. Just when I think, after 19 months, "Oh, I must be OVER IT"...another wave of grief comes crashing to my shoreline, sweeping me into its choppy current, drowning me.

You cannot escape grief. You can run, you can hide, but you CANNOT get away. GRIEF. Such a tiny word, yet it has MONUMENTAL impact on your life. It's in everything you do, every step you take and every breath you breathe. The power of grief is astounding. Once you experience YOUR FIRST TASTE OF LOSS, you will never be the same.

While it's true, each person's loss is as PERSONAL AS A FINGERPRINT, I am finding out, nearly two years later, just how important that statement is to me. Not a single day goes by that I do not think of Trent, or wish he were here. His face is the one I see when dawn's rays of light hit my eyelids each morning. Everywhere I go, he leaves me a dime at my feet. In a random parking lot, in the middle of an intersection, on the sidewalk, or outside the sub shop on my way to grab lunch. The man loves  me so much, even in the afterlife, (bless his heart) he is STILL trying to get my attention! Tears brim my eyes now as I write this. My heart is so full of love for him, that the others who've tried to occupy a space in my heart since Trent's passing...well, they've fallen short. None have passed the iron gate that protects my heart and maintains his memory so deeply.

I've had friends in recent months lose someone who meant the world to them, and honestly, my heart aches for them. It's their FIRST MAJOR LOSS, the one that change their entire perspective about life and death. It's not easy, coming to terms with losing someone you loved. Everyday is a struggle, just to keep it together, to maintain your sanity. I really don't know how I've coped all this time without him. He was my soulmate, my twin, best friend, confidante, shoulder to cry on, coffee buddy, my escape from this mundane world, and he was my GLORIOUS FUTURE, which I'll never get to experience.

Losing someone isn't just about saying GOODBYE, oh no, it's all about all the million little things you cherished and loved about that person. Their goofy laugh, or the way they could cheer you up LIKE NO ONE ELSE, or the thousand memories you have about them, like an epic movie replaying in your head, day and night. You keep staring at your phone, hoping it will light up with their name and number, and your heart soars with the anticipation that you'll answer the call and hear them. But you know deep down, that's not possible. Because it's all a dream, a very bad dream. If only you could wake from this nightmare.

You will be reminded of your loss during future Christmas gatherings, because they are now absent, or the upcoming birthday where they won't be there to see the glittering candles on their cake. It's all about how their wisdom and advice will be missed most of all, when you need them to help you in a crisis, and they simply aren't there. Maybe you'll have a bad day and desperately ache to hear their voice. Your loss reminds you, OVER AND OVER again, that he or she isn't here, and man, IT SUCKS SO BAD. The only comfort in the midst of this ugly truth is that you were LOVED SO MUCH by them, and that is a fine thing indeed. Knowing that a very special human once graced your life and caused you to FEEL so much love and so much depth. It's breathtaking, really.

Now, as I sit here, wipe away tears and try hard to pull myself together, I'll think of My Trent, and I'll smile. Because that's what he would want for me. He would want me to be happy, and to carry on, despite his untimely departure, and I can still hear him grinning at me saying "Hey, Smiley" as we drove hand in hand down Interstate 505 in Northern California, en route to our favorite breakfast place, Black Oak restaurant, and that warm Sacramento sun would give my skin such a radiant glow. Those were the days, ah, yes. Nothing can match them.

I'll always cherish them, forever. Till my dying breath.

I hope you cherish your loved one always. With a monumental love and memory to last all time.

In sympathy,

RR xo

DEEP RIVER -- YOU ARE LOVED AND MISSED BEYOND MEASURE

On June 11, I lost my best friend in the whole world.

Trent Gardner passed suddenly and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

He was my soulmate, lover, best friend, confidante and twin. We met in the most miraculous way over a tweet I'd sent to my favorite band. When Trent found me, it was against all odds, one in 7 billion, pure magic. The fact we were separated by 2200 miles was a miracle, but finding him after a lifetime of hoping for a soulmate...surreal.

Trent was the mastermind musician, the charismatic angel, and the loving soul who would help his fellow man in need. He had a deep, profound sense of humanity and his empathetic heart stole mine instantly. Everyday with Trent was a blessing I will never take for granted.

California was his heritage, his native land. I had written about that beautiful Pacific from the time I was 16, in a novel about a bicoastal love affair between a female journalist in Chicago and a music producer in L.A. The distance between Toronto and Sacramento was the same in mileage. Essentially, I'd written our love story some 22 years before meeting. The prophecy was mind-blowing.

When we finally met, I got to check off a mark on my bucket list, We crossed the Golden Gate bridge one sunny October Saturday at 11:11 a.m. The twin flame hour, as I liked to call it. The sunlight glistened in my auburn hair and I closed my eyes, reveling in the miracle of our love.

Rigel, meaning brightest star, was his middle name. Incidentally, my character from the novel "Against All Odds (1993)" was named Starr Elizabeth Taylor.  Trent would then go on to tell me that his mother loved the actress Elizabeth Taylor and that Mom's ancestors bore the name Taylor. Eerie coincidence? Or just confirmation that we were destined to meet?

Many parallels guided us. My university was called Trent, and his daughter and my cousins lived in Henderson, Nevada. Too close for comfort. Breathtaking. Phenomenal. We also shared the same family birthdays between us. Everything in the Universe was saying "green light: GO."

Over the course of five months, I flew to California eight times. The hours with Trent were bliss, the moments I got to share with him, forever emblazoned in my mind. My heart swelled with gratitude and sheer reverence for the man who'd suddenly swept me off my feet and made my whole world a wonderland of joy.

Both creatively blessed, he a gifted songwriter and producer; myself, a journalist and romance novelist with a history degree, we clicked so well. A meeting of minds, similar and sacred. A union of hearts, unmistakably bound for each other.

But his life was cut short suddenly. It ended too soon. And my heart is eternally broken. I can't believe I will never hear his voice again. I'm frozen in a state of shock that my phone will never ring and I won't hear that good morning greeting, midday banter or evening wind-down before we sleep. All I can do is encapsulate the memories, hold onto the brief moments, and forever entrench myself in the exquisite songs he left behind. Luckily, I recorded a lot of voice clips we shared with each other. Those are golden. Platinum. Stellar. I can hear him anytime I feel the urge to be close to him. He is here. beside me. Always, Guiding me. My "brightest star" in a vast sky of glittering gems. He stands out. The most luminous of all.

I love you, My Deep River. Infinitely. Forevermore.

You are loved and missed beyond measure. I cannot numb the pain cascading from my heart. It's just so unbearable. But in time, it will subside, the shock and horror of your departure will dim, and I will be left with a bittersweet mist that will envelope me in my times of grief.

The roses you sent me...still stand in the tall glass vase. A constant reminder of your die-hard romantic ways. The greeting cards and the telegram all declare a love so strong and timeless that nothing could rival. The video clips of you singing to me...I can watch them anytime I feel the wave of loneliness wash over me. The recording of our fabulous and fun karaoke night...when you blew them all away with the Chicago song "Beginnings"...that will carry me through the hard times.

Now, I will hold you in my heart forever. Your legacy lives on in me, and in the songs that echo through the vast expanse of eternity. So many loved you, and what a blessing to embrace!

Trent, you changed my life in so many powerful ways. I hope you knew that you brought meaning, passion and renewal to a heart once barren.

Rest now, dear soulmate, in angel wings. Your pain is gone. Your mission complete. Until we meet again, my love. Adieu.

RR

MAGELLAN TALKS NEW ALBUM AND CHICAGO THE BAND

http://www.downtownmagazinenyc.com/magellans-trent-gardner-talks-new-album-prog-rock-u-s-politics-and-chicago-the-band/