TRUST YOURSELF: When All Else Fails, You Can Trust The One Who Knows You Infinitely

 Dear Readers,

I noticed a flashback pop up on my FB tonight, and it was from Sept. 11, 2018. The comment I wrote beside my pic (featured above) was "Today I choose ME. I trust myself." This memory emerging on my page could not come at a better time, after the trainwreck that 2022 has been for me. Oh boy!

But first, back to 2018 for a minute. What a year that was! I landed a full time position at a seniors home, which later in November 2018 brought me the sweetest, most endearing couple, George and Mildred, who sparked inspiration for one of my books. I campaigned with a friend who won a seat on city council, and went to his victory party to celebrate. That was a proud moment, to witness a wonderful human being achieve a worthy dream. I went to a few concerts and enjoyed myself. I published The Christmas Keys. Beautiful memory. My "Hallmark" Christmas love story, I like to call it.

That quote about "choosing me and trusting myself" really hits home right now. I had an unsavory summer and got my heart broken badly. So tonight, I am paying homage to myself for draggin my body out of the pit and learning to make life "normal" again. Not sure if I can after what I've been through, but here goes...

"Today, I choose Me. I TRUST myself. I love myself. There's no one who has a more intimate relationship with me than ME. In this crazy world of commercialism and superficial scams, it's easy to get sucked into beLIEfs that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not hot enough, not sexy enough, not rich enough, etc etc. But here in this moment, I choose me. Because the last person did NOT choose me. They chose instead a career or someone else they deemed more special than me. That's fine. I'm good.  I don't need their validation to make me feel worthy. The only one I need to validate me with is ME. At the end of the day, I know in my heart I did my BEST. I am loved. I am worthy. I AM ENOUGH. In this skin, yes I am enough."

How many times have you let fear and self-doubt creep into your thoughts? When you let that ugly, traitorous voice in your head lie to you about how amazing and capable you really are? Well, stop it. You are a force to be reckoned with. Yes, YOU are unstoppable. Remember all the times you struggled and thought you'd never make it through, yet here you are! Succeeding in spite of it all. 

It's time to give yourself more credit, to trust your instincts, to behold the genius that you are. Which includes embracing your messy parts, and the shadow self you judge, the aspect of you that holds perhaps all your magic and hidden talents. Being human is never a bad thing; it's the components of all that you are and all that you will ever be.

So stop second-guessing yourself and thinking that you are not enough. You are divine. You are a STAR shining your light in this messed up world. That is amazing. That is all you need to be. You have arrived. The world needs you. 

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

LOVING YOURSELF MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD: Focus On Love

 Dear Readers,

It has been said by the great writer of our time, Louise Hay, who is now dearly departed but lives on in our hearts and her ample library of self help writings and new age awareness:

"When you don't know what else to do, focus on love. Loving yourself makes you feel good, and good health is really about feeling good." 

This past year, I've hit a personal crisis. Mental health and emotional health. I lost a job that meant a lot to me. A job working with seniors at a retirement home. I was targeted, bullied and harrassed by management over my bad knee. From February 2021 during my first diagnosis over x-ray of osteoarthritis in the knee, to limping on the job in March and April, to getting a cortisone shot that helped me for three months and then the subsequent pain and limping that followed in September (once that shot had worn off in July), I was targeted by management for my "disability." 

November brought a knee sprain diagnosis, running around a dining hall serving meals to seniors. Two weeks off work, a WSIB claim, and management spreading lies and rumors about me through the building ("it's not a tear, you can't use that language in your insurance paperwork," the nasty, control freak business director screamed at me on the phone. "These agents don't want to pay out the money. I've dealt with these people for a long time, I know my stuff." She went on to brag that her "daughter is a soccer star in Spain, and she tore a ligament and needed surgery." Comparing MY injury to her daughter's? Then invalidating me and shaming me without having the final word from my MRI? How atrocious and appalling, not to mention, completely out of line from a Human Resources point of view. In the end, my agent at WSIB was more than accommodating with all my paperwork, doctor visits and backbiting with staff. He happily refunded every penny to me that was lost on two weeks worth of wages, while being sidelined at home.

I was wait-listed three and a half months for the MRI, from the November booking til the March appointment. To add insult to injury,  a maintenance guy at work got in my face and yelled at me over a broken vacuum (not my fault). He shouted: "you're just lazy and full of shit. All you want is to go off on another insurance claim." This could not be further from the truth. I'd just had an MRI at the hospital on March 1st, and the results came in March 30th, via my booked follow-up appointment with my surgeon. It was a meniscus tear under the knee cap. But the buffoons at the seniors home did not wait to hear back from my MRI results. The manager fired me March 15th and I was devastated.

My work at the retirement home was one filled with love, and I poured that love into every day I spent there, four and a half years of it. The seniors were my "family," and our mutual affection and respect for one another was felt deeply. When job loss occurs, there is a strong mental, emotional and physical downfall that happens. First, the shock that it happened at all. Second, the depression over losing my community and sense of self. Third, social life is nonexistent, and you now have a life that you do not recognize that is waiting at home. It was a bitter pill to swallow, and I would spend the next number of months in deep sorrow, gloom and self punishment. When the first week of August hit, I dragged myself out of bed one sunny afternoon and dusted off the exercise bike that was sitting there being neglected. My first ride was 12 km and 30 minutes clocked. Then, I worked my way up to 16 km and then 18 km for 44 minutes in a session. Four times a week, I forced myself on that bike. "Rochelle, you've got to get yourself out of this slump, or you'll be good for no one. Not even for yourself," my inner critic chided.

Suddenly, I had perspective. I also had something that I'd lost with the job dismissal; MEANING.

As with anything that leaves our life, we have to find our way back to the meaningful part. I attached MEANING now to my daily routine. It was not just getting out of bed at noon (because, what else was there to look forward to?) but it was also the fact that I had an exercise routine. I had my coffee, my oatmeal, and my Tetley lemon tea and three liters of water per day. Get the muscles moving, release those positive endorphins, change my mindset, stop beating myself up, don't be so glum.

To add to the mix of sorrow, the man I love had distanced himself from me over a misunderstanding when a "frenemy" of mine phoned up the funeral home behind my back and badgered my Special Person with demands that he" take Rochelle out to dinner or give it up with

her."

I'd waited 11 months for this beautiful man to come back from the west coast where he lived, and have a wonderful reunion of souls this summer in Southern Ontario, just east of Toronto, while he split his time between the cottage up north and his sister's place, a 10-minute drive from me. Well, after that frenemy sabotaged my Specific Person and me, it was game over. He broke my heart by saying he "didn't want a relationship, I hope you find what you're looking for, I wish you well." I picked up the phone to explain everything and try to tell him my side, but he refused to answer. He ghosted me after that, and I spiralled down into a deep depression for months. This is a man in his '60s who was raised by a good father and mother, and knew better than to lead me on this way. He also has serious health issues that might require surgery down the road, and he'd endured a heart surgery in October 2020, so the drama from that traitorous ex-friend of mine just seemed to be the "nail in the coffin" for us. He won't speak to me.

My heart is shattered beyond repair at the ghastly and devious events that have transpired this year. It has been an awakening that has gutted me, in so many ways, and I have felt paralyzed with the depths of sorrow and heartache. My Specific Person means the world to me; he inspired three of my books, he has seen me through the hardest times of this past year (getting Covid, knee injury, bullied at work, losing the job). He was also my biggest cheerleader when the first book in the "Love Walked In" series was released in July 2021. To put it bluntly, he is my soulmate and I love him with the magnitude of an earthquake and the force of a tsunami. His arrival to my life on Nov 9th, 2018 forever transformed me, and I can't feel anything but massive love and compassion for this incredible man. To say my heart is brimming with devotion for him would be a huge understatement; my heart belongs to him. I don't want to do this life without him. I mean that. 

Back to the "feeling good" part. It was surely a process, and a long journey back to self, indeed. After getting my heart broken and losing the job, my new life is now about caring for my bad knee, updating this blog, seeking a job, and healing my brokenness. Yes, this is the "new normal."

I have every faith that my Special Person will return. He is taking a break, getting ready for a medical procedure out west when he returns home this month (hopefully to put him into remission with his illness) and he is still grieving his parents who both died in early 2020. Hence, the funeral this past July, a celebration of life for his beloved father, who was also one of my own soulmates. He has a weak heart from a heart valve replacement, and that is no walk in the park.

Tell me, in the comment section under this blog, have you ever endured a separation from your Beloved, and how long was that? What was the outcome when he/she returned? What discoveries did you make along the way about yourself? I would be intrigued to know what took place and if there was a happy reunion?

As you know, I am a big fan of the Law of Attraction and I apply it to my life every day. I've seen the massive returns from it, over the course of the last seven years or more.

This road back to Self really is about Loving Yourself. Focus on that love, and it will fill you up so deeply, and will overflow into other areas of your life. It really does all begin with Self. 

I am sending you healing vibes and massive love today.

I hope to hear from those who have reunion stories with their twin flame or Specific Person.

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

Law of Attraction: Manifesting Your Specific Person

 Dear Readers,

I've become quite smitten with the idea of Law of Attraction for MANIFESTING your Specific Person either into your current existence or manifesting them back into your life after a breakup or after they have ghosted you.

One of the people I follow is Robert Zink from USA (Miracle Mentor and Alchemy Success Coach). He is the owner of Law of Attraction Solutions, along with his wife, Rachael.

His teachings give me daily support, inspiration, and guidance for my life. Especially for attracting your Specific Person to you.

What I have learned on this journey with my Specific Person are key factors to manifesting him or her back into your life. Robert's advice hits all the crucial points:

1. See yourself as WORTHY. Committed. Absolutely certain. Make yourself the STAR of the movie.

2. Be passionate about your own journey. Focus on your goals. Your dreams. People are attracted to people who are PASSIONATE about something.

3. Quantum Gratitude. Looking forward to the future; projecting into the future about the reality you are creating and being GRATEFUL for your life right now. Writing it down, getting in touch with it. This will raise your vibration.

4. Visualize Clearly The Outcome you desire. The Wish fulfilled. This person or this company calling you, texting you, writing you, reaching out to you. You need to reprogram your subconscious mind with a clear picture of the outcome. It's absolutely essential.

5. Focus on the Feeling. While you are meditating before bedtime, focus not only on the picture, but how you FEEL about them reaching out to you. It's absolutely essential, because feelings are the connecting link to the Universe. You need that Universe REFLECTING BACK to you exactly what you are putting out. That's called manifestation. That's the Law of Attraction. And this is the Law of Assumption. You are acting and feeling "As if." What if I run into RESISTANCE? People ask one of two questions that causes them to run into problems. 1) When? 2) How?

Detach from the outcome. Fall asleep with the positive expectation, allowing you to DETACH. Detachment is so important. You increase the probability that your Special Person is about to reach out to you. As you increase your nightly meditation, you go inward, increasing the Energy.

6. Good Things Are Coming Your Way!! Keep using these daily affirmations. 

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better. 

Every day, in every way, my Specific Person is getting closer and closer.

Every day, in every way, my Abundance is getting bigger and bigger.

Hope these help you on your journey to manifesting your Specific Person! Stay tuned...

With so much love,

RR xo

100 Days of Gratitude Challenge -- Day #9 -- Forgive Someone You Feel Has Done Wrong By You

Dear Readers,

We've reached day number 9 of the 100 days of Gratitude Challenge. Today, your mission is to "forgive someone you feel has done wrong by you."

WARNING: this blog post is about to get personal. It contains information on horrors that I went through and lived to tell.

On January 4th, 2008, my second husband who I will name "Ken" for the sake of not receiving backlash from said person...well, he walked out on me and my young daughter, just days after New Year's and my seasonal job had ended. Yes, you read that right. I was broke, unemployed, penniless, and now, had to find somewhere new to live. The rent was paid up til Feb 28th, so I had about seven weeks to relocate.  Worse, he didn't give me a "reason" why he was leaving -- just that he suddenly "picked a fight" in the kitchen and threw kitchen items around and grabbed his 2 young sons, packed them in the car with a bag of clothes and he said "I'm out of here." Later, I would discover he had been cheating and being dishonest, just six months into the new marriage. Don't worry, he cheated on the first wife too, I soon learned through a mutual friend of many years.

Luckily, my family still had the old farmhouse and it was vacant. I would take Rachel, only, eight, and move "back home." Oh boy, was I bitter!! There I was at 30 years of age, thinking "Oh I have finally ARRIVED -- married (successfully?) a second time, and we had a blended family. Things were looking up for me, finally.

But that's where I made a fatal mistake. I'd gone into yet another marriage completely BLINDED and refused to see the RED FLAGS that were obviously there from the start. What was my excuse? Co-dependency. Being 30 and naive. Refusing to stand on my own two feet for fear and anxiety that I couldn't make it. Okay, i'm taking accountability right here and now for my own choice to get into this mismatched union.

Just ten days before the wedding ceremony, a man driving a van EN ROUTE to church around the corner from my designated church of my planned wedding...the man had a heart attack at the wheel and DROVE RIGHT THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR of the church, St. Stephen's, where I was to be married on July 7th! What an omen! How could I not see the warning signs right in front of my face? Because my own stubborn pride refused to see the truth.  I could have spared myself so much PAIN, if I'd only backed out, cut my losses and maintained my sanity.

Sorry for the long post. To summarize, it was a match made in Hell. He swept me off my feet with poems, roses, romantic dinners, talking on the phone til late hours in the night, bringing me coffee in the morning, wanting to INVEST in me. All the things that a woman wants to happen for her, right? But it was LOVEBOMBING -- the typical narcissistic behavior that one does-- COMES ON STRONG -- to blindside their victim, so they can't see the DECEPTION that is really happening behind the scenes. I was that "new supply" that narcs need to feed their ego and soothe their badly damaged self esteem.

Years later, with therapy, research, good mentoring and recovery, I realize I lived through horrors, shame, lies, slander, public humility, mental and emotional abuse, abandonment, financial control and abuse, and poverty. But still -- I don't feel hatred towards this person. I've run into him a few times over the past 11 years since he left. He is bashful, hangs his head, acts like a shy puppy dog, and tries to strike up conversation...I have been diplomatic and kind each time. One of those occasions was at my job at the mall, where I dodged him and hid behind a clothes rack and proceeded to help a customer. Ten minutes later, "Ken" the ex has the nerve to come back into the store and strike up a conversation - "what are YOU doing, working here?"
My reply - "I helped build the store -- and here I am."

All this time, I still felt ...NOTHING for him. No hatred, no emotion, no sadness, not even regret. I think it's safe to say I've reached the point of FORGIVENESS for this person who used to call me his "Queen" and "Goddess" and "the best thing that ever happened to me."

I wish him well, I really do. Last I heard, he'd moved onto a 3rd marriage. I'll leave that one alone.

This post is about FORGIVENESS, and I truly feel, after moving on and up to better things, I do forgive "Ken." He taught me to stand on my own two feet, to not easily trust people as I had back then, to OWN my power, to believe in myself and myself alone, and I became an entrepreneur of sorts, learning to sell furniture and household goods to feed myself and young daughter, so I've become a master of adaptability, tapping into my God-given gifts of sales, leadership, communications, etc.

That old girl back then in 2008....ugh...I don't even know her!! If I met her today, I'd actually feel ashamed and pity her big time. I'd tell her to pull up her bootstraps and GET THIS DONE, GIRL!

"Ken" -- thank you. I am grateful for you abandoning me. I found myself. I found self love. Self empowerment. I found FREEDOM, not being owned by anyone. I discovered I didn't NEED to be married to someone, to feel validation and worth. I was ALREADY somebody.

To all the abused women out there who think they can't stand on their own two feet -- I urge you to take back your power now -- pack up your things and leave that horrible wretch. God will provide for you, just as he feeds the sparrow.  He will make it possible for you and your children to be fed, sheltered and clothed.

Praying for you always,

xx RR xx

ALL ALONG, I WAS A SOMEBODY

Dear Readers,

Does any of the following sound familiar?

When I grow up, I'm going to BE SOMEBODY.

When I'm older, I'll be a millionaire, debt free, with a huge house, nice car, and all the material goods, toys, yacht, motorhome, house in the Hamptons, luxury clothes, and others will envy me for it. Then, and only then, will I BE SOMEBODY.

When I find "the right person" then I will BE SOMEBODY.

When I marry into money, I'll BE SOMEBODY.

When I finally publish that screenplay or bestselling book, I'LL BE SOMEBODY.

When I'm the news anchor for a major network on TV, then I will BE SOMEBODY.

When I get that PhD in medicine, philosophy or physics, I'll finally BE SOMEBODY.

When I buy that classic car and cruise through my neighborhood and down the freeway with the wind in my hair, I'll BE SOMEBODY.

When I lose 50 pounds and look like Heidi Klum in a tight fitting cocktail dress, men will chase me and fall at my feet, and dammit, I'll BE SOMEBODY.

When I get that Botox, breast augmentation, or other cosmetic surgery to "fix" my God-given face and body, and if I Keep Up With The Kardashians,  then I will finally BE SOMEBODY.

When I've booked that vacation to the Caribbean and I'm on the beach in my hot pink bikini showing the world my tight body, then I will BE SOMEBODY.

How many of these limiting beliefs did you recognize about yourself?

I know I definitely did. While I was growing up in a blue collar family, these beliefs were projected onto me and indoctrinated heavily into my innocent mind, and I grew up believing if I was blue-eyed and sun-kissed with a size 2 body and long, flowing blond hair down my back like Christie Brinkley or Niki Taylor, then I would finally BE LOVED AND ADORED BY MEN.
My mother did all this to me. She was always on a "30 day fast" to lose 30 pounds. She told me all my life, if you don't keep your figure slim at size 6 or your weight at around 107 pounds, then you will deceive your husband for not staying the original size in which he met you.
She was constantly on a diet, obsessing over food and weight. Luckily, I never went that route. I did one day grow up, get married and have a child. I lost my slim figure and traded it in for a shapely but healthy woman's figure "with curves." Guess what happened? Men STILL chased me. In fact, I got more attention with those curves. I had CONFIDENCE and SELF ESTEEM, knowing I had grown into my own skin, the body that God gave me, even with society-dubbed "flaws" -- and it was fine!!

All my life, I was told "you'll be a somebody...if only you had A, B, and C..."

Later, in my thirties, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's which wreaked havoc on my immune system, hormones and weight. Mom's voice again chanted at me: "lose 40 pounds and a man will love you."

My heart sank. I couldn't imagine that a parent could place such strict conditions on her love for her daughter. What she was REALLY saying was "Rochelle, I don't accept you the way you look right now. Lose some weight and I'll show you off to my friends and family. You can be my trophy."

Women much bigger than me....even ones at 300 pounds...were seen walking in public holding hands with a man who seemed to adore them. The whole thing seemed puzzling to me and untrue.

In 2015, the best match of my life came along, and he treated me like a QUEEN. He was an influential and well-respected music man in the San Francisco area, a powerful vocalist, superb keyboard player and trombonist, who'd worked with Steve Walsh of Kansas, the guitarist from Dream Theater, CHICAGO the band, even Jon Anderson of the famed YES group. Trent loved and adored me JUST THE WAY I WAS. I remember singing him the Billy Joel song with similar lyric and he laughed at me. But I'd made my point. I'll love you just the way you are.

Funny thing....women were chasing him...ATTRACTIVE women too with glamorous clothes, tight bodies and nice cars. But he didn't want them. I once asked him "Trent, why is that you're seeing a woman 2200 miles away...when all the glamorous women are right in your hometown...tonnes of them?"

He replied: "Because, Rochelle, you're REAL." Then he explained that my transparency, authenticity, lack of physical alterations and natural beauty made him fall in love with me. My vulnerability and willingness to SHOW UP, just as I am. He said that's what did it for him. No amount of "perfection" was going to sway him otherwise.

Today, I think of his kind words, the wisdom he shared with me, his loving devotion...and it makes my heart hurt for the women out there who sit in self doubt, punish themselves with one more diet, one more surgery, another pair of designer shoes bought to fill that void. My heart aches for the ladies who believe they are not worthy enough to experience the love that I had with Trent. Deep, magnificent, soul-stirring love that changes the game entirely. Conscious love. The AWAKENED KIND.

All along, I know I was a SOMEBODY.

No amount of money, or fancy degrees framed on the wall, luxury cars, mansions, Manolo shoes, Botox, size 2 dresses or marriages of influence were going to VALIDATE ME.

All along, I had THE POWER.

I hope you too can look in the mirror and love yourself and know that you're a SOMEBODY.

My prayer for you today is to simply exercise SELF COMPASSION and self care rituals. To go deep within and find that little girl who was taught those horrible limiting beliefs, and give her a big hug. Tell her how loved she really is. That she only needed to show up AUTHENTICALLY and she learn she

could make a difference on this hurting world.

I hope you know, dear readers, how much you REALLY, TRULY ARE A SOMEBODY.

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

LINGER: The New Novel

Rosalind Baker loses her entire world when her beloved fiance, Jack, is shot in the line of duty one night.
Grief stricken, she flies to Serenity, Ohio for the funeral and finds refuge in the cozy home of his niece, Janine, a chef and a Medium.
Soon, she is forced to face her pain head-on, and the emergence of a man who happens to be a dead-ringer for Jack -- his much younger nephew, Mark.
In Serenity, the spirit of hope, warm connection and family lingers...but still something else calls to her. She can almost feel the presence of her loved one surrounding her, telling her it's okay to trust the new chapter unfolding.
Can Rosalind heal her broken heart and let love in one more time? Or will she walk away from the one who just might hold the key to solving the mystery?

COMING SOON --from Rochelle Renee, the author of PASSION, LONGING, TEMPEST, THE PERFECT STORM, SNOWFALL & COMING HOME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE REAL RHETT STEELE!!!

Today is a very special day for the man who inspired the novel "Perfect Storm."

Happy Birthday to the fabulous D.A.(aka Rhett Steele). He's 53 today and I want to wish him all the luck and happiness in the world!!

Cheers Mister Steele ;)

Love,

RR

COMING SOON: LINGER THE NEW NOVEL

Dear readers,

Hope your summer has been a blast so far! Here in Southern Ontario, Canada we have been receiving some hot, muggy days, along with cool, comfortable nights. Overall, though, it's been a summer that I've enjoyed because to be honest, I really mind the heat and humidity. Fall time can't come soon enough for me!

During the spring and summer, I've been working on a brand new novel called "LINGER" and it's been fun.  Take a look at the blurb and tell me what you think! I am beyond excited to release it this Fall. Enjoy and take care :)

RR xo


LINGER

Rochelle Renee

Rosalind Baker is grieving the tragic loss of her fiancé, Jack, shot in cold blood one night on duty. Drowning in sorrow, she heads to Serenity, Ohio to visit his niece, who’s offered a place to stay and grieve.
Janine, a chef and Medium, wants to help Rosalind heal from the horrific crime. Vying for answers, Rosalind finds comfort in Janine's country home, great food and welcoming family.
Deep in sorrow, Rosalind finds beauty and miracles she never expected. 
Janine's younger brother Mark is the odd one in the family. He lives alone and keeps to himself, but is deeply affected by the death, going into further isolation when he hears the news of his beloved uncle’s passing. Mark, aside from Rosalind, was closest to Jack.
Despite their differences, Rosalind finds a common thread with Mark. Not only does he bear a shocking resemblance to her soulmate, but they share the same bond – a fierce love for Jack – which is undeniable.
In time, she begins to fall in love with the charming town that’s quickly become her own little haven. The old birch trees and flowing rivers seem to whisper a secret wisdom to her...a clue about life unfolding on its own terms. As Rosalind begins to heal and unravel the truth of Jack's death, she wonders if the "odd one out" is much more akin to her than she wants to admit.
Perhaps the lingering spirit of a loved one who passed on just might give Rosalind the answers she craves.

The Loss of "Self": Return To Your Soul's Haven

Lately, I've been doing a lot of soul searching.

It seems I'd forgotten myself in the chaos and hurry of the world.

My soulmate died June 11, 2016 forever altering my path and destiny. Not only did I lose a huge part of my life and passion when he passed suddenly, I also lost MYSELF.

Now, you might wave a finger and argue that another person's death should not be an excuse to feel lost or uncharted. After all, do we not make our own destiny everyday by the choices we make when our feet first hit the floor?

Let me make it very clear that Trent Gardner was my compass and my light. Never before in my life did one human being have such an affinity for me; he loved me with conviction and SUPPORTED ME. My dreams were his, my goals aligned with his goals, our long term plan in sync.

Something detrimental happens when a person you LOVE DEEPLY dies. A MONUMENTAL part of yourself goes away with them. The trick is to re-evaluate yourself, search for what's been lost, and find the MEANING of your life that apparently went away with their demise.

All of these steps are crucial to finding one's SELF again. The loss of SELF is heartbreaking. It's like stating out loud that you don't matter, that your dreams and goals can take a long, simmering wait on the back burner, and that will be good enough.

Many of us are guilty of losing our SELF. We accept crumbs from people, shortchange ourselves, diminish our psyche with negative self talk and limiting beliefs. Don't you ever wonder why you are STUCK in one place and cannot seem to move forward? Perhaps you've put yourself there. Have you forgotten that YOU deserve a shot at the best in life? Do you really want to continue this dead end, winding road in the wilderness, without ever seeing a BIG, JUICY OUTCOME?

Sadly, I've let people around me dictate my life and tell me (in many backhanded ways, not necessarily vocalizing it to me) that i am simply not worth it. That if I don't "seize this opportunity now," and I keep choosing to be picky or discerning, that I will limit myself to having NOTHING and then I will be screwed.

Wait a minute...WHAT???? Do we not live in an ABUNDANT Universe that supports us? Can we not sit for a moment...take a step back...and prioritize?

I don't HAVE TO take the scraps and crumbs. I DESERVE the very best in life. I'm not playing this game for another 40 years. I've paid my dues, done the dirty work, labored it out with blood, sweat and tears. Don't you dare hand me that tired old, demoralizing line one more time "beggars can't be choosers."

This here is no beggar. Starting today, I'm taking back my power. I'll show more self compassion, and give no heed to what those naysayers feed me. I'll trust my intuition, be my own compass, and chart this course the best way I know how. Those old limiting beliefs that kept me paralyzed will no longer dictate my needs or wants. I'll discover that progress CAN be made, and that reaching higher is certainly most attainable.

Have you lost your sense of Self? Then why not take some time today....to revisit your soul's haven? Look within for all that you need. Surely, the answers will find you, and you will not be led astray.

Cheering for you always,

RR xo

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD, GET INTO YOUR HEART

The world is run on digits, facts and figures. People are constantly thinking, mulling around in their head space, over analyzing this and that. Money, quotas, capital, salaries, contracts, stock markets. Seems fine, considering the world is run on money.

But it also seems we've forgotten we are human. Our gentle hearts tick behind those hard rib cages. The blood coursing through our veins, the oxygen in our lungs, our hearts pulsing to remind us we are ALIVE.

My point? Well, when was the last time you enjoyed the company of those who matter to you? I mean, REALLY ENJOYED, were fully present, turned off the cell phone. Looked at the stars or a blazing sunset splashed across a mauve sky muted in orange and magenta. Were you busy texting, scrolling, and emailing, while your daughter lost her first tooth or son took his first steps? Did you ignore the proud declaration of your teenager when they told you they made the Honor Roll?

People, let's get real with ourselves. The world will always be running. The money will always come rolling in, the dollars in plentiful supply. But here and now, THE PRESENT, it will be gone. You will have missed it all. Because you were in your HEAD and not your heart.

It's no secret I've been accused of being too fluffy, too sentimental, sensitive, REAL. But guess what? I like it here in the land of cherries and rainbows. Because, frankly, right here, is HOME. I can feel every nuance of emotion, sadness, confusion, fear, wonder, triumph and mystery. The reason? I allow myself to be authentic. No one runs me. Those "friends" who scoff and call me a dreamer or lone wolf? Tough luck. Because I like to be a weirdo. Sure, maybe I'm stuck with my jukebox oldies channel and Bobby Vinton records. So what, if I love poodle skirts and saddle shoes on Halloween instead of the typical zombie makeup? Better yet, I'm basking here in the foolish glow of what a Connie Francis record sounds like on my retro stereo. Something about that little "crackle" of the needle on a big LP. Yeah, that's REAL to me. I like it here, in the realm of weirdness. Cause I am living in my HEART, not my head.

You, too, should try it sometime. Allow yourself the luxury of simplicity. Get away from the madness. Park at a lake, dip your feet in the cool waters, listen to the cry of the loons. Throw a rock in and watch it ripple. Watch the baby blue of the crisp September sky. BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT. Remind yourself that you're HUMAN. Yes, you. I'm not talking about Robocop or the tin man. You, my friend, are a human being. Let yourself feel every wave of emotion, every loss, every victory, every great moment of this abundant life. Drink in the fresh autumn air, watch your kids laugh, hug your spouse, call up a friend for lunch. Reminisce about old times and plan some new memories, while you're at it.

That is why, everyday and always, I will be cheering you on.

Passionately,

xo RR xo

Fall In Love With Yourself

I recall the loneliest times of my life and they make me cringe.

Wounded by a failed second marriage, I carried the pain around for years. Four at least, before I moved on, let the wounds start to heal, and file for the divorce. This did not happen overnight. Along the way, I met quite a few people who helped me see the light. Men who made me smile, helped me flirt with the idea of coupledom by raising my self confidence and boosting my ego.

Prior to filing for the divorce, I had to forgive myself for failing at marriage again. Forgiveness of self is truly instrumental in the quest to finding love. Without it, we hold onto baggage and self deprecation, causing a delay in our growth and hindering our own mental health.

What did I discover in these single years? What magic elixir did I drink to come to this big life changing epiphany?

The answer, simply, was to discover who I was all over again. I needed to accept me, flaws and all, including my shadow side, with all the parts of me that I thought others did not like. First on the list: clumsy. Second: left-handed. Third: just plain misfit. Our destructive self talk is really powerful, and most of us don't realize what negative doom we are manifesting when we bash ourselves or undermine our own magic.

How could I expect to summon love into my life, if I was blaming myself for all that had happened in the past? Becoming my own worst enemy was not the recipe for healing a broken heart. No one can move onward and upwards if they're playing the blame game from yesterday. Dude, that is so, like, 2008.

Did I not realize that I was truly 1 in 7 billion? No other person alive has my DNA codes; the mold was broken when I came along. Realizing this made me suddenly jolt back to reality. Being this unique suddenly gave me an advantage I had never seen before.

Self love is so crucial. We cannot call love into our lives if we don't love ourselves FIRST.

Why is that? Because if you don't love yourself, you don't know what you want, need or deserve. Then you wander around, lost and clueless, searching for something you just can't seem to define. It's like having an invisible list of tasks or goals with no real aim. Get real about who you are and what you want. Things will soon fall into place.

Once you accept your darkness and light --in turn, embracing your essence-- all the lovely components that make up the masterpiece of YOU become crystal clear. Soon, you're living a charmed life that is robust, colorful and passionate. There is no regret, no second guessing, and you experience a FREEDOM that is so amazing. Breathe in the calm of having nothing to prove, and no one to prove it to. You will care less about what others think, too. The liberation is pure bliss.

It's a shame how people run from the beauty of who they were born to be. Stand in the mirror, look at the person staring back at you. What do you see? Let me remind you that being single doesn't mean you are worthless. Think of the benefits to being alone at this time. There's no one to answer to, no one to impress but yourself. You can put on that favorite song and crank it REALLY LOUD without offending that partner in the house.

Learn to romance yourself. Take a walk on the beach during sunset, sit on a vista and watch the city lights glittering in the distance, browse lovely thrift shops and find nostalgic items, spoil yourself with a new dress or outfit at a boutique, go to a movie that only YOU would love. Bonus point: you don't have to fret or argue with your date over which flick to see. No compromising here. Myself, I go to concerts in the city alone, or to karaoke --solo--if I can't find a friend who is free on a Thursday or Sunday night. Heck, I'll show up in my diva glory, belt out some Motown gem by Mary Wells or wow the crowd with a rockin' Shania tune. In my element, it's truly phenomenal. It feels like I'm home, and the joy bursting from my heart seems to light up the whole room. It doesn't matter if I show up to these places alone. Because I've learned to love my own company, there's always a new friend I meet along the way, and I'm pushed off my couch and out of the comfort zone. There's life out there! Go and see for yourself. Go ahead, grab these moments while you can.

Self love is a beautiful journey of the soul that begs us to truly look inside ourselves and find the jewel that is waiting to be awakened again, after so many years of a deep sleep. Divorce or heartbreak can really destroy our self esteem and make us feel broken down, ugly, or unloveable. Remember, though, that you are transitioning and moving forward, so take the time you need to heal those battle scars, but don't dwell too long there. You can become too comfortable in bitterville, letting the heartache seep into your soul, and rob you of the dazzling potential that is waiting to be discovered.

I truly hope that you will learn to fall in love with the majestic person you are. One in seven billion, baby. Now THAT is something to be proud of.

As always, keep the passion alive.

Cheering for you,

xx RR xx