Lately, I've been doing a lot of soul searching.
It seems I'd forgotten myself in the chaos and hurry of the world.
My soulmate died June 11, 2016 forever altering my path and destiny. Not only did I lose a huge part of my life and passion when he passed suddenly, I also lost MYSELF.
Now, you might wave a finger and argue that another person's death should not be an excuse to feel lost or uncharted. After all, do we not make our own destiny everyday by the choices we make when our feet first hit the floor?
Let me make it very clear that Trent Gardner was my compass and my light. Never before in my life did one human being have such an affinity for me; he loved me with conviction and SUPPORTED ME. My dreams were his, my goals aligned with his goals, our long term plan in sync.
Something detrimental happens when a person you LOVE DEEPLY dies. A MONUMENTAL part of yourself goes away with them. The trick is to re-evaluate yourself, search for what's been lost, and find the MEANING of your life that apparently went away with their demise.
All of these steps are crucial to finding one's SELF again. The loss of SELF is heartbreaking. It's like stating out loud that you don't matter, that your dreams and goals can take a long, simmering wait on the back burner, and that will be good enough.
Many of us are guilty of losing our SELF. We accept crumbs from people, shortchange ourselves, diminish our psyche with negative self talk and limiting beliefs. Don't you ever wonder why you are STUCK in one place and cannot seem to move forward? Perhaps you've put yourself there. Have you forgotten that YOU deserve a shot at the best in life? Do you really want to continue this dead end, winding road in the wilderness, without ever seeing a BIG, JUICY OUTCOME?
Sadly, I've let people around me dictate my life and tell me (in many backhanded ways, not necessarily vocalizing it to me) that i am simply not worth it. That if I don't "seize this opportunity now," and I keep choosing to be picky or discerning, that I will limit myself to having NOTHING and then I will be screwed.
Wait a minute...WHAT???? Do we not live in an ABUNDANT Universe that supports us? Can we not sit for a moment...take a step back...and prioritize?
I don't HAVE TO take the scraps and crumbs. I DESERVE the very best in life. I'm not playing this game for another 40 years. I've paid my dues, done the dirty work, labored it out with blood, sweat and tears. Don't you dare hand me that tired old, demoralizing line one more time "beggars can't be choosers."
This here is no beggar. Starting today, I'm taking back my power. I'll show more self compassion, and give no heed to what those naysayers feed me. I'll trust my intuition, be my own compass, and chart this course the best way I know how. Those old limiting beliefs that kept me paralyzed will no longer dictate my needs or wants. I'll discover that progress CAN be made, and that reaching higher is certainly most attainable.
Have you lost your sense of Self? Then why not take some time today....to revisit your soul's haven? Look within for all that you need. Surely, the answers will find you, and you will not be led astray.
Cheering for you always,
RR xo
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