Contemplating a major move here as one big era of my life is ending. It's a huge concept, not one to be taken lightly. I have the courage of a lion, and it's true that I can survive anything. That's just how I roll.
Thoughts of leaving my sleepy bedroom town behind have me very reflective these days. I built a life here, three decades ago. Life blossomed. I rode my first horse here, had my first kiss, gave birth to my only child, not to mention, wrote all my novels here also. Life in this small town shaped my identity and forged my all-encompassing sense of Self.
Bittersweet memories linger. Many photographs have been taken. I find it important to keep a time capsule or some other commemorative ritual. Time is of the essence. Nothing should be lost.
This period of reflection has reminded me that family members have not always supported me. It's unfortunate, but in the constraints of a family dynamic, there is a sense of conformity where most members follow the lead of the dominant parent. Myself? I do not fall into this dynamic. I am the proverbial Black Sheep. Think outside the box? What box?? I like to think of myself as a trailblazer, misfit or rebel. Somehow, following the crowd just doesn't work for me.
People have come into my life who blew any preconceived notions out of my head of what "family" was known to be. Thankfully, they also lit the path for me, with a candle of hope. I grew into who I was meant to be, with a little help from a couple of great mentors.
These days, family is anyone who belongs to my soul tribe. Those who resonate deeply with me, finish my sentences, think and feel like me, accept me the way that I am. The ones who judge, condemn, slander, or put me down --though blood related -- are demoted to a dark corner. They don't get any more precedence. The only legit ones who matter are those who make me FEEL nothing but good vibes and support me--AS I AM.
This year, I started "cleaning house." People whom I had known for a good span of time (say, five years or so) were cut off. No, it's not a question of me being disloyal or anything. On the contrary, it was THEIR choice to not be loyal. To me, anyone who didn't serve me anymore or was not contributing to my greater spiritual growth was hindering me. These people were not even supporting my career or path. It's crucial to take stock of your friend list from time to time, and see who is deducting from your value. Do they make you feel like trash? Then it's high time you gave them the boot.
It's unfortunate, but some family members have no desire to support me or give edifying words that uplift me. If someone is bringing me down, I pull the plug. Really, I have no time or patience for this nonsense.
Family is simply those who love me and build me up. Family is the friend who calls up to take me to lunch "just because" or the person who calls to brighten my day, prompting me to feel like a million bucks. Or just to hear my voice and tell me how much I mean to him.
I want to thank a special man in my life who daily inspires me, supports me, and affirms that I am not only important to him, but I am the key to HIS happiness and abundant future as well. He is determined to profess, provide and protect. His presence is consistent, day after day. I'm proud to put him on my list of those whom I call FAMILY.
I love you T.G.
Finally, to those out there wondering where they stand or if they matter to someone, check the mirror. See the phenomenal person staring back at you. Check your inner compass. It will never steer you wrong. It knows the way. Ditch those toxic family members and "frenemies" who pose as comrades. Seriously. You deserve far better. I mean it.
Cheering for you always,
xo RR xo