HAPPY EASTER TO MY LOVING TRENT IN HEAVEN

Now more than ever...as I approach the 3 year mark of my soulmate Trent's death...I feel the inevitable ache of loss so deep. More than I have since his death.

Maybe it's because the holidays bring all those old feelings to the surface. Perhaps it's because another year has come around and the reality hits hard: he is never coming back. Also, I believe it's been my writing projects and little distractions (people, places and new experiences) that allowed me to stuff my feelings down...into a place so deep....that I convinced myself the pain was gone.

But that's just wishful thinking. Because I can never stop feeling the raw ache that Trent Gardner left me when he took his life June 11, 2016.

My heart will be forever broken, and that's something I've accepted. Even though I'd rather pretend he faked his death or that this was all just a dream.

Trent Rigel Gardner changed me for the better. He brought a RICHNESS, a luxury, a simplicity to my life. That may seem an oxymoron, but it's true. I felt like a millionaire when I found him and I also felt like the most real, organic and unassuming goddess ever born.

He just knew how to love me, in ways no one else could ever. The man knew how to love me "by default"...as though he were programmed that way, just for me. Loving him was natural, like breathing...no thought put into it, no effort or striving.

His presence in my life was MONUMENTAL. I can only speak for my own experience, but it's true. Others will attest that they saw a different Trent, one of many faces that he put on for each person in his life. But I know him to be only my ONE TRUE LOVE. He was my twin soul, and there was a SYNERGY between us that just seemed to flow. Like the life force energy of the Universe. Natural, beautiful, infinite. A chemistry that I can never forget.

This Easter I want to celebrate my Trent. All over again. For being that Flame to light me when the world is cold.

His kindness and generosity warmed me no end. It transformed me, and I'm a better woman because of him.

I LOVE YOU TRENT. NOW AND ALWAYS. I'LL BE THERE TO WELCOME YOU WHEN IT'S MY TIME TO PASS. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, I REMAIN ALWAYS...

YOUR QUEEN,

RR XO

SMALL STEPS OF PROGRESS STILL COUNT!!

Dear Readers,

On this "almost Spring weather" Saturday, I am filled with reflection...for what COULD BE...WILL BE...

You know me...the hopeless romantic, the dreamer, the idealist, the visionary. Always looking for that silver lining in the midst of the hurricane or thunderstorm.

PROGRESS is something I'm tabulating right now. Examining whole-heartedly. You see, I can be my own worst enemy (as my massage therapist Peter told me). I'm critical of myself, I can be a downright horrible perfectionist, and I'm most certainly hard on myself more days than most.

That being said, I am also my own best friend, too. Because people have let me down, discarded me, walked away, ghosted...whatever term you want to use. Why? Because humans are flakes. They have their own hidden agenda, and if you do not rise up to meet that agenda (be it monetary, physical, mental, etc) then, be prepared to be abandoned and forgotten. It's okay, I'm cool. I don't need flakes and shams in my life.

What have I learned and why the ramble? Well, my dear readers, I have learned being a Life Path #1, that in numerology, it is a good sign to be discarded. I learned to stand on my own two feet and not to give a damn what others think. See, I spent the better part of my life trying to FIT IN (foolish little girl!!). Why even try that insanity? I'm a DIAMOND, not some sheep destined to follow the crowd and fade into the cluster of confusion.

To speak of this PROGRESS...I am stoked about the latest body of work (mmm, body...) that has manifested. I've decided to answer the "call for submissions" at Love Inspired (Harlequin Imprint). It's nearly four weeks since I submitted my proposal for a novel about a woman who moves across the country after losing her husband in the line of duty and relocates to the small town in Upstate New York called "New Canaan" and runs into her ex from 20 years ago. This one I have a GOOD FEELING about, and so far, no rejection slip...but no news is good news, right?

Fingers crossed that this "progress" will bring a nice reward with it. The turn-around time for things like these is generally four weeks.

David and Shania are my main characters. Former lovers who were together at age 25 and 20, and split when Shania's mother forbade her to see him because the preacher's son was "not good enough" for her sheltered daughter. Now David's back, he's amassed a fortuned as the #1 renovations king in the Deep South, and when he sees Shania, that old spark is set aflame once more!! Shania has won an essay contest titled "win a ranch with Victorian home" complete with horses, cows and chickens. The problem is, she has no clue how to run a ranch. David and his infinite wisdom and experience offers to help renovate the farm for minimal cost. But stubborn Shania and her pride stands in the way, and she rejects him at first, maintaining that she can do it herself, along with the help of ranch foreman Hank, who's been there 15 years. When you carry a torch for someone over two decades, there is a flame that never blows out. Once Shania relents, and lets David in, progress happens. The ranch begins to look promising, and they become friends, but she keeps him at arm's length. The past is too painful, and losing her husband Jack was debilitating. She can't afford to risk her heart all over again.

Then a tornado rips through New Canaan, destroying any progress on the ranch that they worked on together. Shania sees this as a "bad sign" and puts up walls once again, pushing David again. Can the two resolve the pain from the past and learn to forgive? Or will theirs be a love story doomed forever? HER PROMISED LAND is a story of love, forgiveness and redemption. Coming soon, Autumn 2019. (R.Renee)

Stay tuned for an update. This work-in-progress is just a baby of an idea right now. But I am having fun outlining each character sketch and writing the first draft. Sink or swim, I think it's important that when you set a dream in motion, you should by all means carry it out. Let yourself fall in love with it, even if it doesn't nab the book contract or Pulitzer. Every nuance, layer, thrill and simple joy will take over and you will revel in your playful creativity again. It's like a reward is being presented, simply in the context of giving yourself the gift of your own presence, and writing is a satisfying act of self-love. I've never felt more fulfilled in my life, than when I am writing. No person, place or thing on this planet has ever given me the gratification that I feel when creating my own magnificent work. Keep this in mind. A thing of beauty is a joy forever (John Keats).

Bottom line: writers. Please embrace your talents and gifts. They are a present to the Universe. We MUST remember that our own presence is a priceless offering to those who walk in our midst.

Keep up the PROGRESS...even if it's baby steps. Even if an editor declines on what you deem your "best ever novel" or project. If the world rejects your masterpiece. Keep that treasure close to your heart. Keep working on it, perfecting your craft, loving up on it...I promise you...there IS a reward at the end!!

Cheering for you always,

RR xo