THE SOUL OF A WOMAN

The soul of a woman is vastly underrated.

We've come a long way in evolving as a species and in the realm of history, women have advanced through the years. We won the right to vote, the privilege to divorce (without moral condemnation), we've advanced up the ranks to CEO or some high powered executive. We even have females running for Congress.

But the soul of our existence is highly unnoticed.

We have a power unlike any other. We are women. We are STRONG. Invincible. Our bodies take a beating. We survive child birth, disease, hard work, emotional duress, and many burdens of life. Still, we come out on top.

Wonder Woman might have been a fantasy role, not a legit human, per se. But she is forever exalted as the prime example of a powerful woman. She is fast, she is fine, and what a force to be reckoned with!

Myself, I don't claim to be Wonder Woman. But she and I have never been seen in the same room at the same time, just sayin.'

The soul of a woman is what I want to address here.

The soul is a component that is highly important to our survival. If the soul dies, then we ourselves die while living. That is the human tragedy. So we must keep our souls nurtured and sustained. We must feed them with joy, goodness and truth. Never letting toxic things invade.

The world is in dire need of more women of substance. Women with courage, heart, soul and a powerful VOICE.

To all the ladies out there who think they don't make a difference, think again. SOMEONE desperately needs you right now. Your impact, though you assume small, is not scant by any means.. Your voice, compassion, mercy...it truly does make waves. Bring your soul everywhere you go. Bring your candle to light up the darkness.

Let's bring a collective force to the human race. Can we together make a decision right here? That we will let our courage ring true and our souls bring the fire.

Remember, life is waiting. Will you heed the call? Love is waiting. So much relies on our soul. Our bright, blazing torch of hope is needed.

Cheering for you always,

xo RR xo

Don Jackson and the Heartbeat of The Internet

http://heartbeatoftheinternet.com/webcasts/the-color-purple

BE A HERO IN SOMEONE'S LIFE

In our daily encounters, we have many chances to make a difference in someone's life. Do we take these opportunities when they are presented? Or do we rush on by in our self-focused little haze?

My own personal joy comes from giving to others, with no expectation of return. That $20 I slipped to the woman on the street who looked down and out? It gave me a rush of adrenaline like nothing else. Just knowing I may never run into her again, is remarkable itself. The beaming smile on her face affirmed that I'd made an impact. The added bonus was an hour later at a lotto counter, the machine went off with an instant win of $100. Now, THAT is something else. I don't expect miracles like this in the moment, but I gladly welcome them.

The lunch I covered for a friend "just because"? Well, a flutter of joy filled my heart when I paid the bill. No score keeping here. It's not authentic. Don't do that. Just give. It's a big boomerang effect, it comes back to you in profound ways you would never imagine.

Giving is joyful. It blesses the receiver, makes a huge difference (not always monetarily) and in turn, sends back a ripple of blessing and abundance to the giver. You just never know who you're impacting, what life you are making better by the random act of your kindness.

Being a hero in someone's life doesn't take much. It could be a favor granted, helping someone load a sofa on a truck to their new home. It might be just lending an ear to someone who lost her husband to cancer, or a friend who put her ailing mother into a long term care facility. These life changing moments hit hard, they can be very taxing emotionally and mentally on the people involved. Our friends and colleagues need us. Often, the ones who appear rock solid on the outside are actually the ones falling apart behind the scenes. They're feeling a river of tears course down their face, after a long day, sitting alone in an empty room. Believe me, I have been there. It takes a prayer and a strong heart to feel that wave of exhaustion ride out.

Who will you reach today, in your busy life? Will you strike up a conversation with that co worker on your smoke break at work? You know the one, she looks hard on the outside, rarely smiles. You think she is just "unfriendly" when really, she is going through hell. No one ever asks. They assume she is a snob or just a cold person. Go ahead, take a chance and send her a smile or word of encouragement. I have reached people on a whim like this. The floodgates that open are truly astounding!

Recently, doing a buy and sell for household items, a woman who is a repeat customer came to me. She stood in my driveway and poured her heart out to me. Her daughter had been murdered. The magnitude of trust and connection in our conversation really hit me like a tsunami. Wow, a total stranger was sharing her biggest defining life moment...I was blessed and honored by the gift of our exchange. She has come back a few more times, just to chat. She told me something that warmed me all over: "since the death of my daughter, I have become a hermit. I rarely go anywhere, except for the part time job I work. But YOU my dear, are someone I could go to lunch with. You're special. You actually care. The others don't have a clue."

Misty eyes here, as I write this entry. The Universe has brought me so many profound experiences, in 2015 alone. It blows my mind. You could say it's because I have an open mind and very receptive heart.

Just last night, someone asked, "how is it after all you've been through, that you remain open?" My response was simple. "I'm not a victim, but a VICTOR. Those scars I bear, they are just stepping stones, promptly me onward to the next BIG MIRACLE in my life.

You'd be amazed by what's coming to you...if you remain open and keep your heart warm. Please promise me you won't become bitter. It blocks the flow of abundance. It does you absolutely no good at all. You have so much to give, so many gifts to share with the wounded and lost who are searching for guidance.

If you will take a chance today -- BE A HERO IN SOME PERSON'S LIFE-- it will make a world of difference. Trust me.

Cheering for you always,

xo RR xo

MAGELLAN TALKS NEW ALBUM AND CHICAGO THE BAND

http://www.downtownmagazinenyc.com/magellans-trent-gardner-talks-new-album-prog-rock-u-s-politics-and-chicago-the-band/

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD, GET INTO YOUR HEART

The world is run on digits, facts and figures. People are constantly thinking, mulling around in their head space, over analyzing this and that. Money, quotas, capital, salaries, contracts, stock markets. Seems fine, considering the world is run on money.

But it also seems we've forgotten we are human. Our gentle hearts tick behind those hard rib cages. The blood coursing through our veins, the oxygen in our lungs, our hearts pulsing to remind us we are ALIVE.

My point? Well, when was the last time you enjoyed the company of those who matter to you? I mean, REALLY ENJOYED, were fully present, turned off the cell phone. Looked at the stars or a blazing sunset splashed across a mauve sky muted in orange and magenta. Were you busy texting, scrolling, and emailing, while your daughter lost her first tooth or son took his first steps? Did you ignore the proud declaration of your teenager when they told you they made the Honor Roll?

People, let's get real with ourselves. The world will always be running. The money will always come rolling in, the dollars in plentiful supply. But here and now, THE PRESENT, it will be gone. You will have missed it all. Because you were in your HEAD and not your heart.

It's no secret I've been accused of being too fluffy, too sentimental, sensitive, REAL. But guess what? I like it here in the land of cherries and rainbows. Because, frankly, right here, is HOME. I can feel every nuance of emotion, sadness, confusion, fear, wonder, triumph and mystery. The reason? I allow myself to be authentic. No one runs me. Those "friends" who scoff and call me a dreamer or lone wolf? Tough luck. Because I like to be a weirdo. Sure, maybe I'm stuck with my jukebox oldies channel and Bobby Vinton records. So what, if I love poodle skirts and saddle shoes on Halloween instead of the typical zombie makeup? Better yet, I'm basking here in the foolish glow of what a Connie Francis record sounds like on my retro stereo. Something about that little "crackle" of the needle on a big LP. Yeah, that's REAL to me. I like it here, in the realm of weirdness. Cause I am living in my HEART, not my head.

You, too, should try it sometime. Allow yourself the luxury of simplicity. Get away from the madness. Park at a lake, dip your feet in the cool waters, listen to the cry of the loons. Throw a rock in and watch it ripple. Watch the baby blue of the crisp September sky. BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT. Remind yourself that you're HUMAN. Yes, you. I'm not talking about Robocop or the tin man. You, my friend, are a human being. Let yourself feel every wave of emotion, every loss, every victory, every great moment of this abundant life. Drink in the fresh autumn air, watch your kids laugh, hug your spouse, call up a friend for lunch. Reminisce about old times and plan some new memories, while you're at it.

That is why, everyday and always, I will be cheering you on.

Passionately,

xo RR xo

DON'T MAKE ME DULL MY SPARKLE FOR YOU

I'm sorry, but is my sparkle blinding you today?

I'll admit, over the course of my life, there has always been that one female in a social group or a co-worker trying to bring me down. My problem, they suggest, is that I smile too much, look too enthused, I'm not taking my job seriously. It makes me sick, to be honest. These haters just won't leave me alone.

Like an epidemic, they come out in droves occasionally. Ever notice when you're doing well -- REALLY, REALLY WELL -- that's when a Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer tries to rain on your parade.

There's this one girl in my circle of friends (I'll call her Andrea, just to save myself a backlash). She dotes on me sometimes, seems to be really into me. Messages or calls out of the blue. Claims to show "empathy" if I have a bad day. But when I'm on a winning streak with Keno or my love life is STELLAR, she is nowhere to be found. She sometimes goes two months not talking to me. Hides in her cave. Shuts me out. It's cruel and revolting. I pretend to be neutral. I'd just cut her lose, to save myself the hassle. But you see, I have an obligation to her. She pulled a suicide card on me. She's also linked to my immediate circle. She makes me feel bad about her life, how everyone around her is doing so well, rolling in money, etc etc and she is stuck in the same spot. I can't help her. Really, I can't. She doesn't want my help. She just wants to vent, complain, dump on me.

Energy vampire, that's the terminology for 2015. It's the trendy way of saying Narcissistic Sociopath.

As the title of this blog suggests, I still refuse to dull my sparkle so this person can feel less bad about herself. I'm keeping my basket of glitter. In fact, I have an airplane full of glitter, ready to drop from the sky. I hate that people try to make me look DULL, lackluster, like an old penny, littered on the ground. Its value is next to nil.

My entire growing up years, my mother made me feel small. Powerless. She silenced me. As a teen and in my early 20's, she said my neckline was too low, or if I walked alone in my small bedroom town after 9:00 p.m., people would mistake me for a "street walker." Ironically, I was a virgin til almost 21 and married the guy.  In later years, I suffered hypothyroidism, and gained some weight. Regardless of the protein diets, vegetarian diets, healthy shakes, 3 power walks/runs a day and 4L of water, I still couldn't lose a pound.

The abuse got worse then. In my thirties, she told me I was fat, meaning I was not pretty enough, and I needed to look and act like this 6 foot tall, statuesque blonde named Jackie. "Why can't you marry into money like Barb's daughter? Can't you lose 40 pounds and find a good man like Jackie did?"
"Oh, she's so beautiful! She's so thin. She's a successful school teacher. Why don't you apply for a high paying job?"

Body shaming? Don't ever do this to your daughter. It's heartless, cruel, and degrading. It makes them have eating disorders and waste away to a bone rack. No REAL MOTHER would reduce their daughter to this.

Naively, I thought there was something wrong with me. Until I saw my mother go on another crash diet, aka "30 day juice fast" to lose 30 lbs and look "slim, just like in high school when I was a size 6/7," she would proudly chant. Upon losing the weight (and these diets went on for 30 years) she would parade around in a new outfit and rub it in my face at how I'd somehow failed in the beauty department. But then in 2011, she had a gall bladder attack and was rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. I guess I was right about those dangerous diets catching up to her. She could've lost her life. Scary, right?

Another time, I served meals at a retirement home. This was a good gig. There was 130 seniors who experienced my smile, my cheerful banter, and most were close to death at any moment. I made their remaining years worthwhile. Some girl I'll call "Terri," just 18, wore a scowl everyday to work. She must've had a rough life, running to daddy all the time for cash handouts. She had a great body, half decent looks, and planned to go to University in Italy that Fall. Still, she was a miserable wench. She snapped under her breath, watching me entertain the residents, "I hate Rochelle!" By the end of Summer, she'd quit early, handing me her remaining shifts. At the time, I had no idea what I'd done to make her hate me. After all, I loved all the girls I worked with. I was 28, working alongside girls age 17 and 18, but they all liked me and cracked jokes. Many knew they could phone me and drop their shifts on me, if they had last minute party plans or an invite to some cottage. I was Miss Reliable. In later years, I reflect on this nasty person, and summed it up to this: she just hated her life. She hated herself. There was nothing I could do about it.

Moral of the story: since I've experienced females trying to body shame me or restrict my sparkle to No Man's Land, my outlook has changed. I refuse to let anyone diminish me to a speck of dirt.

Do I make you feel uncomfortable? Well, then, that's too bad. Learn to deal with it. And get some professional help. No one has the right to belittle another human and make them feel like garbage.

"She writes romance novels and publishes them? Who does she think she is, Danielle Steel?"

I laugh now, at some of the slander that has boomerang'd back to me. I'm not doing anything wrong, just following my heart's desire, and doing what I love. These people don't like the new and improved Rochelle? Well, stick it. Cause I'm not going anywhere.

Word to the wise: Never let someone dull your sparkle. Keep on shining, no matter what. Yes, there will be tough times. There will be haters. People who can't handle your megawatt smile and positive vibes. That's okay. Keep up the summer glow, the ray of sunshine, that beacon streaming from you. This hurting world needs more of you. Believe me.

Cheering you on. Always.

xo RR xo