By now, you might have realized in my blog posts that I have begun the 100-day Gratitude Challenge.
Well, tonight my heart is SPILLING OVER...with joy! and MASSIVE, MASSIVE GRATITUDE! Yet another thing to add to the ever-growing list of things has happened today, yet another GIFT to be thankful and proud of.
Tears flood my eyes right now. A treasured friend whom I haven't seen in quite a while just messaged me today and said she's taking me to a VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS CONCERT! By none other than celebrated Canadian Country crooner, Johnny Reid!!!!
Lydia...you've made this woman completely and utterly blown away by your kindness. I never saw this coming. Never expected such a beautiful surprise! This is exactly what I've needed. Thank you, from my heart. It's unbelievable.
Working hard for the past two years at a full time, demanding job and still writing my novels, I've immersed myself in "busyness" I think after Trent passed in 2016, as a survival mechanism. We do what we must, to keep trudging on, blazing the trail, moving forward...etc. If there are friends out there whom I've neglected, please blame my head and not my heart. This loss took a MONSTROUS chunk of my heart and my sanity. The long road back to joy, comfort and serenity has been tiring, but I feel a whole lot better now. Nothing prepared me for losing my soulmate, the One I planned forever with. Nothing will fill the gap of Trent's death, and no one can replace him, this much is true. Yet, I'm finding there are ways to REBUILD the life that was broken down and smashed to pieces. Daily, I've taken stock of everything and every little moment that has brought me beauty....as I rebuilt my life from the ground up. Maybe I'm not where I WANT TO BE just yet...but I am surely on my way.
Bouncing back from a major loss takes its toll. I don't think those around me (loved ones and friends) had any idea how crucial and important Trent was to me in the brief 10 months we shared on this earth. Some might have expected me to "just move on" and find a replacement. "Well, it was long distance anyways, and those things never work out." Some of the justifications people stated to me. I think they meant well, and yet didn't really have a clue what the loss encompassed for me.
Three years and three months later, a lot has changed for me. Nothing looks the same for me, nothing at all. Let's see...family home of 35 years was sold off to developer and torn down (another major loss), I was forced to move away from my safe, comfortable and quaint hometown (loss!)...new job arrived too. New faces, new memories to make, new experiences. You know the thing about SUDDEN CHANGE that irks me? It's just so....SUDDEN. For me, that's never been an easy thing. I'm a Taurus...a "fixed" sign. Steadfast, stick in the mud sometimes, and SOLID. The kind you can depend on. I'm also traditional and wanting to stay in my comfort zone. But then again, no major transformation came from being stuck in the same place for 40-plus years, now has it?
The butterfly had to get her wings. She had to fly, to grace the sky with her pretty wingspan and chart the course by herself and to see new landscapes.
Okay, okay....I shifted gears and went into my gloomy loss story. This blog post is meant to be POSITIVE, uplifting, JOYFUL...
So here goes...
Lydia Jackson, I love you. You're a dynamic woman who has always inspired me to be the best that I can be. I'm not even sure if you realize just how you inspire WOMEN everywhere, but I'm letting you know that this woman has always admired your courage, strength, resilience and creativity. The way you love your family, the method in which you "keep it all together" so gracefully, in spite of life's trials... well, let me tell you, it's a magnificent thing.
Thank you Lydia for being part of my soul tribe. Tonight's gift from you is cherished, and I will treasure it for all time. The hermit in me needs to get out once in a while and experience REAL LIFE, beyond the walls of this cave that holds countless stories and sagas in a writer's brain.
Again, I'm BLESSED with Gratitude. Just in awe, really.
Those who are reading this, I hope you also make your own 100-day Gratitude Challenge and document all the unforeseen gifts all along the way that you acquire. God Bless.
Always cheering for you,
RR xo
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