SHATTERED (a poem)

I see you there,
when you think No One does.
In the deafening silence
Of the night
When you miss her most
and the agony is killing you softly
you think no one notices
the tsunami of Grief,
that threatens to swallow you whole.
all these years
have slipped away, stolen from you
millions of moments
when you missed seeing her laugh
or the cute way she slept
and how she greeted you with dinner
for the family...
and you yearn to get it back
but try as you may,
you just can't
and it kills me everyday
to know that you just wallow
and torture yourself, moment by moment.
Does it help to know that you aren't God?
you couldn't keep her here
her days were numbered
her soul's pact fulfilled.
Does it ease the wound
to know that you aren't Superman?
you didn't have the powers to save her
I wish you saw
the compassion here
the aching need
to have your time, your laugh,
just a friend's request
to share the day,
a hot brew, a gentle smile.
Because I see you
when no one does
the tears that glimmer
in lonely eyes at midnight
as the smoke swirls around you
like her ashes ascended to heaven
the nicotine hits you
to ease the burden
of a heart
in pieces.

R.Renee. 4/25/15