How many of us could use some
kindness, on the days when we feel "unkind" or unloveable?
Wouldn't it be
nice, to know that someone is right there, allowing us to feel hope or
radiance, when we are feeling the worst version of ourselves on one particular
day?
There's times we
do not want to be positive and caring, and that's okay; we all have bad days,
it is part of being human. No one can be 100 % positive ALL THE TIME. That
would be a super human, and show me one person who is capable of this? Mother
Teresa? The Pope? An archangel, perhaps?
Kindness, as
Webster's dictionary outlines, is "the quality or state of being kind; a
kind act."
Have you ever
shown kindness in the face of adversity? Or been at the receiving end of one
such gesture?
I can recall one
incident at college about ten years ago. There was this girl who had a
sarcastic wit about her, and she always showed up to the Chronicle room where
we wrote our news stories, and I was convinced by her snappy dialogue and
dominant personality that she despised me. This, I discovered, was not the
case. But it's funny how people rub us the wrong way, especially when we do not
know the entire story going on behind the scenes. I just assumed she was a
miserable grouch and she hated her life, or was disgruntled about a boyfriend
who'd dumped her.
Being an Empath
-- deeply sensitive and spiritual person who feels EVERYTHING around me -- I
was startled by the degree of attitude coming from this girl. Oh God, it was
overwhelming at times.
One day, I
decided to do what the Bible says about our enemy; to "heap fiery coals
upon their head" by showing love instead of anger.
“if your enemy is
hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so
doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” (Romans 12:20)
This particular
girl was having a rough day, I could tell. Perhaps she was stressed by the
degree of news stories we all had to submit for the deadline. Or maybe she was
just moody or hormonal during her time of the month.
At any rate, I
was nicknamed the "Ice Capp Addict" because I frequented the Tim
Horton's at least twice a day for the frozen treat. During an afternoon break
from writing, I decided to grab a croissant from Tim's and an Iced Cappuccino.
Anyone who knows what these are, can agree with me, there's nothing like them
anywhere. Every other day at Tim Horton's for croissants, they alternated
between a "butter" croissant and a cheese croissant. Well, I had this
inner prompting to grab two of them. My thoughts went to the girl in class who
seemed stressed and agitated.
Returning to
class, I placed the little brown bag on the table, pushing it towards her.
Immediately, with shock, she blurted out "no, that's okay, I'm fine."
It was almost like she was too proud to accept my gesture of kindness. Now,
myself, I relate to people on a level of random
acts of kindness, through gift gifting or small acts of service, because
that is one of my love languages (Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages). So
when someone rejects my kind gesture, I immediately feel offense; dusting
myself off, I just settled into another news edit, and went on with the writing
at that table.
No more than ten
minutes later, the girl piped up "On second thought, maybe I WILL take
that croissant!" She said it with an awkward, boisterous laugh. I was
deeply moved, and flattered beyond words. The ice queen had accepted my gift!
From that moment on, I suddenly "got" her sarcastic humour, and she
was won over by my choice to ignore her snappy mood. In time, I began to
realize that this is just the way she is; on a good day or bad day, she bears a
cynicism and sharp wit that others would take as moody or abrupt. Simply put,
though, it is her way of expressing herself. We all have our own unique makeup
of personality on how we convey ourselves to the world. (Growing up, I was
though of as weird, quiet, reclusive, different, anti-social, the Lone Wolf by
most, because I am an introvert. But that's just ME, the way God formed me. And
I do not have to apologize for my own unique genetic beauty)
Can you see
though, how a random act of kindness can make someone's day, and also turn a
so-called enemy into a friend?
I now have a
legendary anecdote to pull out once in a while, to share with others, on this
moment of beauty between two people. Casting all assumptions aside, I was able
to give this girl a gift of friendship, despite the icy shoulder she was giving
me.
Showing kindness
in moments of seemingly impossible circumstances with those who give us a cold countenance
can be turned into a blessing, if we let the flow of our hearts rule out the
flow of negativity.
Try it on for
size sometime. Kindness really does work. I'm sure we have been shown kindness
in a moment when we were terribly unlovable or angry.
What stories do
you have to share about a random act of kindness you received? I would be
interested to know just what transpired.
Love and Peace,
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