CHANCES TAKEN

Let it be said that the chances we have taken in life are both bittersweet and glorious. Some, undeniably, have been laced with a regret or two. Others yet, have been the best decision we ever made.

What chance have you taken that ended up being the best thing in your book of memories?

I have a few to revel in. They bring a smile to my lips, every time I think of them. The first one was at church in September 1997. It was a warm, sunny Autumn, a golden era that I will never forget. I recall the music then, all the songs on the radio, the way they made me feel, along with the plans and dreams I had for the future. My heart was filled with hope and I felt invincible, untainted with any pain or hardship.

At twenty, I was no longer a teen, but not quite a true adult. I was trying to grow into my own identity, and being a slender, bright-eyed ingenue who had never experienced an adult love, this was a whole new world for me. Until the moment a tall, dark-haired, 20-year-old who looked a bit like Enrique Iglesias appeared in the back row of that church service. I think I was like a deer caught in head lights. It was love at first sight. We both felt it. I'm so glad I took the chance on this love. It led to marriage and the arrival of a blue-eyed baby girl who has made my life more alive and abundant than I could ever imagine. Though the matrimonial union did not last, it nonetheless left its mark on me, in many positive ways.

Chances are meant to be taken. Life presents us with choices, so we must put our cards on the table and take stock of what to do. Only your heart knows for sure, but rest assured, it never leads us wrong. There are no mistakes. Just the blind faith that everything will work out for the best.

In the long run, whether it works out or not, is not the point. You wanted it -- in that moment -- and you whole-heartedly took that chance. Don't let regret sneak in and rob you of that memory you once held dear. There was a reason why it happened. Take the lesson and apply it to your life.

In love, I have taken big chances. Some have turned out great, others not so much. I have suffered heartbreak and debilitating loss. But the chances I took, some ending in pain, were the stepping stones to my future. Now, lying before me, is the golden road upon which I must travel and seek new horizons. If something didn't fit before, then it sure does now. I know who I am, what I want, and what I deserve.

Another chance I took recently was going back to school. It had been a six year hiatus, but I decided to go back and receive my Double-Major in History/Sociology. Was I scared to go back? You bet. Did I love Sociology? Well, not exactly. I'd taken the intro course years ago and barely made it out alive. But this time, I decided to bear down and really apply myself. The intro course was challenging because the professor was a hard marker, but I love his teaching style. He's made me intrigued by the subject matter, and I have learned so much about people and society. This Spring, I will graduate and I have to say, though some of the past year has been a real challenge with the various essay and exams, I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

See, it's not so bad after all, right? What chance are you weighing in on right now? Is there a decision you want to make but seem to be having a hard time following through?

Go ahead, take a step forward. What seems scary now might prove to be the best payoff. Standing on the other side of fear, just might be the biggest miracle of your life.

I know another chance I took recently has taken much courage during its revelation. Someone who has impacted my life in a major way needed to hear what he means to me. At first, I wanted to lock it away from the world and not let it see the light of day, but the more I kept it hidden, the more burdened I felt by denying its existence. Here's the thing: people need to know they are loved, admired, appreciated. Someone, somewhere, on any given day, is starving for love and recognition. They crave that simple, pure, affection without any grandiose motives. That is all you really need to extend to them. But for God's sake, if you FEEL it, then just SAY it.

Life is way too short. Take chances, dig deep, bring it to the light, expose it, share it, LET IT ROAR. After all, love is not to be treated like a candle under a bushel, hidden away. Love is meant to be passed between hearts, kindled and stoked, until finally, its radiance is blazing bright for all to see.

Am I sure glad I did not hold back and keep this to myself. I can now cherish the reward of what it means to be vulnerable and honest, letting my heart do the talking. I am sure he appreciates the magnificent prose that expresses every little nuance of my soul.

You can try it too. Make it happen. Take this chance. No regrets.

Cheering for you.

Keep the Passion Alive,

RR xo

You Without A Lover, Take Comfort This Valentine's Day

Single this Valentine's Day?

Do not despair. You're probably sitting there alone, staring at your computer screen and dreading the proverbial day of hearts and flowers that is fast approaching. I know the feeling, so let me help you out a little.

February 14th is truly a wake up call for those who feel alone or face the pressure of consumerism ramming the festivities down your throat. Valentine's Day feels like it's on steroids this year, right? Everywhere you turn, red candles, big helium balloons, candy cinnamon hearts down every aisle or heart shaped boxes of chocolates. Do NOT walk into a Dollarama store; you will face a rude awakening!

To make matters worse, there's Suzy on her social media, boasting of the fabulous lover's weekend in Niagara Falls she has planned with her husband. Or Mitch and his girlfriend celebrating an epic one year anniversary, and they've announced publicly their plans of a steamy getaway to a popular ski resort. All across Facebook and Twitter, you see romantic posts, pics of couples kissing, or status updates of "In A Relationship." The deluge of people suddenly pairing up can be hard to handle, right? Doesn't that painful twinge of envy hurt? 

Now. take a deep breath and relax. I am going to ease that dread in your heart. The impending Day of Love is not as bad as it seems. Yes, you heard me. Being single this weekend will not kill you. Let me tell you why. It will be my 7th year without a date/lover/lifemate, and truthfully, I am still ALIVE AND KICKING! As a matter of fact, I am HAPPIER THAN ANY OTHER ERA OF MY LIFE, because of this single status.

I bet you're REALLY gawking at the screen now, scratching your head and wondering "what the hell is a romance novelist happy being single for? Why is she not swinging off chandeliers during hot passion with a stud, firing up the hot tub jets, cracking champagne with a lover,  browsing the internet singles ads, cruising the bars for fresh meat..."

You get the picture. Well, honestly? Being single is not all that bad. I have had the most freedom (no ball 'n' chain), adventures, memories and a barrel of good times...all while being solo. Along my fantastic journey, I've met some amazing people, laughed til my sides hurt, filled my journal with an abundance of gratitude & blessings, and just enjoyed the scene along the way.

Perks to being single? No one to check in with; I can talk to whomever I wish without someone making me feel guilty, or lavish myself with a sexy new body lotion, perfume set or beautiful new ensemble from my favorite ladies boutique. If I want to head to karaoke and belt out a Shania song or croon to Mary Wells ("My Guy") then so be it. I'm not a party animal by any means, but this romance queen needs to get out of her cabin once in a while, kick up her heels and go dancing on a fun-filled girls' night out. 

Hey, don't get me wrong. I'm a sincere advocate for coupledom. Twice married, I'm a die-hard romantic and I LOVE to give love and receive it back. The man who is lucky enough to share romance with me is spoiled as a king on a throne. I'm creative, fun, sensual, sentimental, like to conjure up new things, places and ideas. Love is my playground, and I fully enjoy it to the heart's content.

Can you feel the mercury rising in this cyber page? Whew...pass me a cold drink, please. 

Finally, I wish to leave you with some encouragement. Do not be disheartened because you haven't found that life partner/soulmate/kindred soul just yet. He or she just hasn't found their way to you, and that is alright, because each progressive moment in your life is being orchestrated by Divine Timing. Take courage in knowing that each of us have a soul's purpose on this planet, and our journey is painted with pivotal steps along the way, all leading up to the Grande Moment of meeting the best match for us. 

Getting tired of waiting? Yes, I know. It's downright frustrating, right? You swear there will be NO ONE to dance with this coming Valentine's Day...no romantic text message lighting up your cell phone, no warm body heating that vacant side of the bed...but it's coming. You will be glad you waited. I know that moment will be golden, and I can't wait to hear that it truly is, when it finally happens.

For those readers out there looking for love, or if you have already found YOUR ONE, drop me a line...share your story here. I'm all ears. I'm truly stoked to hear about your blissful journey of love.

I'll be here, as always, cheering you on.

Remember also to keep the fires burning. XO

RR